Transcript You know how to fight but not heal

Transcript You know how to fight but not heal

0 (1s):
Welcome to Real. Raw With, Dr be this nationally published author and pastor has made it, his life’s work to helping people strengthen their relationship with God themselves and each other with 25 years, as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences, with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for Real Raw with Dr B

1 (33s):
Hello, Dr. B and today we want to talk about You know how to fight, but do you know how to heal? This is a very significant, you’d be surprised how many couples know how to fight. They’re easy to find. Right? Very easy to be on, you know? And then in this corner, some of you are not fighting names, too. Yeah. Some of you have fighting names and so you know how to fight. Okay. Very easily done. But do you know how to heal now as a counselor?

1 (1m 17s):
I really try to help you understand that. If you can do the negative, come on, come on, come on. You can deposit. Now it takes a while to get there. Now, how do you get to that point of healing? That’s actually a question. How do you have to answer a, in your mind, you say to yourself, okay. I got to come to a calm solution. Okay. I got to come to a place that we don’t have scars. They’re not killed as a parent. When you have a child comes home and they got to move, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta move. All right. So what do you do about it as a parent?

1 (1m 58s):
Can you try to give a band-aid Neosporin or whatever? You may be a hall or whatever, or whatever it takes, came to the doctor, whatever. Why? Because there is a pain. What couple’s do not do on a regular basis. They know how to cause the pain or cause a scar, but I know how to heal. So healing takes time. Healing says, you know what? How about this? If we taught, write to each other, there’ll be no need for healing. You see is if you are scratching emotionally punching emotionally, mentally beaten your spouse up or your significant other, then yes, there is going to be bruises.

1 (2m 48s):
This is going to be mocked. I guess I’m going to say that. And you can deal with it. I ain’t the one boy, you know, you just need, you just may. Okay. This is a mean person. You need Jesus. Okay. So, so when you have that mind frame that, Hey, you know this you’re over it. You don’t understand. That is really your mind frame that says I’m going to fight. Now again, a lot of you have brought to your childhood ways into your adulthood. Some of you all fight and don’t care about the results. Check your eye out, outside with the eye, you know, to X out of the tooth.

1 (3m 29s):
I hear something, you know, I told her not to be. I told him that Others is a hold of me. Well, you need it to have that side to go on vacation. But that side made Jack God what God gave, which was a good woman, a good man, you know? Like, but because of your mind frame, but not being totally healed, you are not doing things in the correct manner. So I, hopefully this is putting a spot on your head that, okay, so you see your wife cry, you see your husband cry.

1 (4m 11s):
You have to be in practice a and you say, that’s a problem. Okay? I let him know that that means you have numb yourself. Now I understand that. I’m not talking about people who consistently do wrong to you and they consistently do. They’re crying, acting. And the Academy water goes to, I ain’t talking about that. I’m talking about, you know, you press that button. Yeah. You do it. You know that that button that’s projected and then you pull up a level and then you said, Oh, the person goes like, and then you go to the nerve to say what?

1 (4m 58s):
You have to know exactly what wrong you pressed that button to see again, you heard it. Now, the problem is some of you all know how to press a button to hurt you. I’m talking to you, you know how to press that bread. I’m not hurt. You know how to press the button, the button of hurt, but you don’t know how you don’t know. I have a clue was a button appealing. What is that button? That, what do you know what that button is that you don’t know? I don’t know. You know where that button, that button is, is to help you, help your spouse heal. When you refuse to punch it yet, you refuse to touch it because that’s not your actual, that’s where your personality is, right?

1 (5m 43s):
You are hurt. You liked seeing your spouse hurt. Now. Think about how this gets off. That, that, that, that, that that’s really, somebody is dangerous. So I am challenging couples hours of, I said, well, not to be, you know, having some good sex. No, you can put a bandaid on, but unless you clean the wound, it will not heal correctly. So, you know, I am committed to this. You know, whether one person watches me or a thousand, I’m just trying to get you to see.

1 (6m 27s):
That is not about the hurt is to heal. And I will say this, I’m almost done here. That a lot.

2 (6m 37s):
You said, well, why is it that my spouse goes crazy? Gold bonkers. There’s a good possibility. You keep adding

1 (6m 46s):
And adding the pain onto her, all to him.

2 (6m 51s):
And then one special day, all of that payment and all that abuse together. Yeah.

1 (6m 59s):
Right down there and go right there. Wow. Because you never know, help them to heal.

2 (7m 6s):
So all the negativity that

1 (7m 9s):
Pops out I’m going to happen if it happened. So you have to say, you know what, I’m not going to do that. You have to say, you know what? We’re going to not just fight all the time. We’re going to do things differently. You know how to find what about healing? Yeah. But some, have you ever hear it from your past relationships? Yeah. I mean slam the door. That’s not a healing. Walk out a notice for a whole night. It’s not healing a don’t talk to you next two weeks. I’m not healing.

1 (7m 49s):
Oh, you guys know, I’m trying to say to you, that is not proper healing. Now. Some of you were not healing correctly. That’s a good sign. You probably need a therapy. You need referee to come in and give some guidance and give some wisdom because this is not going to help you. Relationship is not going to, what is going to impede, right. Is going to slow down. Now, again, some of you just saw fighting all the time. That’s when you saw it as a kid. I know I did a rarely. You can remember seeing forgiveness in a house.

2 (8m 24s):
You caught him because he was so used to the negativity

1 (8m 30s):
That comes from, you know, finding. You don’t know how to say so. Sorry. You have no clue. It’s nowhere in your head to say sorrow. Y because you really don’t get a empathy. You Christians,

2 (8m 55s):
Y’all talked about forgiveness.

1 (8m 56s):
Love you to love Jesus. Well, we get a lot with these. Also apply it to your spouse. Getting a of Jesus, apply to your mate can apply. And for some of you may now, again, you used to fight for you. Christians who were watching the Bible says we fight not against flesh and blood. I believe about what says that these are just to say, eat, sit down. So hopefully this will encourage a and also hopefully balance You.

1 (9m 39s):
Yeah. If you are going to fight it, you better know how to heal. And if you cannot fight and heal, these are fighting. And this is a very logical, if you can not learn how to heal, you don’t know how to heal. Then maybe you need to stop fighting. I think that’s a very logical. And to me, I love you got a lot to me. So hopefully this blessed you in some small way. Again, I don’t find to be only here, 30 minutes, 45 minutes. I just wanted to give you a little snippet. Also the challenger, that’s a fighting.

1 (10m 20s):
It’s not the answer last point. And I’ll be done. It’s amazing that you cut off your spouse’s hand then, and then you told your wife, please cook me some food. You can’t do that. If you just cut off my head and I want you to do that, you cannot do that. So what I’m encouraging you to do is do things differently, okay? Do things differently. And if you do things differently, then you’ll get different results. And hopefully that blessed a man today, the book I would recommend to help you in this area, but you have to bring this up here is definitely love the hell out of you.

1 (11m 13s):
That’s the bottom, a bottom to the side. And from your left, go to your right. This is a kind of the red love the hell out of you. That is definitely a book that would definitely help you to learn how to fight and also a book right next to it. The crack Tiara. Another good book that I think will definitely bless you. How are you guys will be blessed by, and this Podcast tell us about it, right? And we’ll see, you probably got one or two more left to me and today take a, a lot of people.

1 (11m 55s):
I’ll do it next time.

0 (11m 59s):
Thank you for tuning into Real Raw With Dr B this show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed, contact at Dr B is Real at gmail.com. If you’d like to hear the show again, you can go to the Real Raw With Dr B Facebook page. If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997. We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for a donation of $25 or more, we will send you an autograph copy of one of his books.

0 (12m 47s):
For more information about Dr. B, you can check him out at Dr T CC Brantley dot com or on Twitter at coach TC Brantley and on Instagram at Dr. Brantley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God be the glory.