Transcript on Bully Relationships
Transcript on Bully Relationships
0 (1s):
Welcome to real raw with dr. B this nationally published author and pastor has made it his life’s work to helping people strengthen their relationship with God themselves and each other with 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for real roar with dr. B,
1 (33s):
Oh my goodness. This is dr. B, where we come on a, on this podcast to give you the real raw, when it comes to a relationship with yourself, with God and others. And we, we do this because we’re trying to help you become better acquainted with people around you, but most of all, loving yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love people around you. We are honored to have for the first time on this podcast, the one and the only coach Porsche, how you doing coach posher?
1 (1m 7s):
Doing well. Thank you so much for having me. Can you talk close to the mic? How you doing? I’m doing well. Thank you. Good. Good. Give people a little, a little more, a little quick bio about you and what you do with coaching.
2 (1m 19s):
So my name is coach Porsche. I am a parts work transformation coach, and I’m also an author and I’ve been coaching for a little over two years and just a lot of good time.
1 (1m 35s):
All right. And, and you also are doing the great work with ministering to people. And do you like working with young people, adults, or which one do you prefer? Or
2 (1m 48s):
It doesn’t really matter. The coaching is coaching for me. I do have several young adults. I do have a mini for minors program and coaching. So I coach children 16 and under for free. So I do have a lot of, you know, several adults that reach out to me. And a lot of my work is pro bono, obviously because maybe the adults don’t want to have the coaching, but they want me to coach their children. So. Sure. Alright. Are you ready? Sure.
1 (2m 16s):
All right. So our, our, our podcast for today is bullies and you’d be surprised the effect, the effects that bully has are on your mind frame, because when you feel bullied, there’s a sense of, of stress, right? There’s also a sense of, you know, a self awareness. So as a, as a, as a coach, how do you help people deal with bullies?
2 (2m 53s):
So normally I’d take one subject that is really oppressing the person. I like that word oppress. And when it comes to bullying, okay. And that whatever that one subject is, we go into that and we speak on the various, maybe emotions, the pain, their fear. We, we just dig into the parts of, of the perspective that is being bullied.
2 (3m 24s):
Okay. Now, now, as a counselor, I’ve seen many people who are, who, who do the bullying usually have pain. I don’t write the word pain down. They have pain within them that really hasn’t been corrected. So instead of them showing love, they will attack. They will, are even produce more, more pain. All right. And so, and so the more pain they produce and they see the person’s response, it indirectly tells them, Oh, this is a great thing because I’m getting a response, but they don’t see the longterm effects of it.
2 (4m 7s):
You’ll comment on that one. Yeah. Keep it. Okay. Sure. Sure. All right. So, so, so again, when people are constantly, you know, doing bullying, the really in my perspective, they’re really hiding. Okay. So I’m sorry. Are we talking about the people that are bullied or the people that bully the people that bully bully? So, so then I have to go back and address that. So if I have a bully in front of me, yes.
2 (4m 37s):
We definitely dig into the part of the person that wants to do the bullying. Right. I’m sorry. I misunderstood you. No problem. So we dig into the parts of the person that, that is doing the bullying. Sure. And, and we dig into that and we see why, why and how, and where is that coming from? So we really dig into that part, that, that one part, that one part, which, which is usually attached to several other parts leading from an, and or stemming from a childlike part <inaudible>.
2 (5m 8s):
And from what I’ve seen is that usually the bullying is really trying to hide a pain or hide something that I have to be so aggressive toward other people that, because I’m keeping you off balance, you know, by I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m pushing you. I’m I’m, I’m also yelling, right. I’m yelling, I’m using all types of these, these things to kind of push you off the things I really want to talk about.
2 (5m 41s):
Right. So the bully has many parts to them. So like you, you just mentioned he has he or she has the yelling part, right. He has an oppressed part. He has a part filled here. She has a part filled with pain. Sure. So there are a lot of parts that may be attached to the bully part. I liked the word attacks. I like that. And so we get to the, the main part that needs the most light. Right. And we’ll know that when we see the landing of that on, on, on the, on the client or on the person that’s speaking, they’ll know, it I’ll know it.
2 (6m 16s):
Yeah. It is. Is really, you know, the bully usually is a very soft person. Hear me out. She always gentle. It’s just a part of them that, that needs to roar. I love that word raw. Okay. So, so really it’s that soft person that, because of a lack of a better word, things have kind of built up or, or calluses emotional calluses has grown over that, over that, over that.
2 (6m 48s):
And so when they deal with somebody, instead of coming to them in a, in a place of love, they’ll lash out. Because again, as you say all the time, they’re trying to protect that part. That’s in pain. Go ahead. Right. So, so a bully has all parts have either a manager or protector on the road that went down. So the managers are trying to keep all the baby parts from overloading, what we call the parts system. Okay. The entire person.
2 (7m 19s):
Okay. And the protectors are the ones they’re like firefighters. They go out and they fight. The bully part is probably coming from the protector. Who’s protecting that other small part. Now there is a part of the bully that probably wants to control it as well. That’s a part of a manager, we call that. Right. So, so again, there’s so many parts to the bully. When the person sitting in front of me, I see which part lands for them. Okay. Which part needs the most light.
2 (7m 50s):
That’s the part we start with. Again, the bully loves to control the situation by any means necessary. But again, when you control, then you really are not showing any type of love or connection, compassion. We look for compassion. Right. So when those, when, when that part shows a lack of light, right. That’s what happens with the bullied.
2 (8m 19s):
There’s just not enough light shown within that part. Right. And it’s why it acts out, is it disrupts? So really behaves. Right. So, so really the bully is in the dark and that’s why it bumps into everything because there’s no light there. There’s no love there. We would say the bullying part and remembering that that part is just a, it’s a part of the person. It’s not the entire makeup and or system of the person.
2 (8m 50s):
Right. It’s a part of the person. Right. But what happens is that a lot of time, they always fall back to that particular bullying because to them, and I’m ready to where now they’re very comfortable being there because a lot of times, again, there goes, there goes back to that healing that has not had. Right. And so every time that bully is triggered or every time that bully needs to act out, or maybe that there’s that pain inside of him or her, and it says trigger, trigger, trigger, correct.
2 (9m 19s):
There’s echoing. Right. When that echoing happens, that bully is, it’s like, it’s like, it’s like they say the seven demons, you know how the seven, seven demons will come back into the person. That’s the Bible echoing of that whole thing. That just, if, if, if, if a part is not healed or not given light tech all like that, there’s that echoing back to that baby part. Yeah. That needs to lighten healing at night. And when I tell you it comes with a force of vengeance. And so that’s what the managers and protectors, they try not to overwhelm and that baby, that baby part, because that thing will overwhelm the entire system.
2 (9m 57s):
And the echo is so powerful because again, they’ll use to the echo. And if they not hearing that echo of the bullying and the echo of lash out on people, then like, like this is not, this is not normal. So in my head and I, and, and I don’t know why this is in my head, but it’s like, there’s a fence that keeps them in those borders. It, it keeps you in that place. Not why are we talking about this? Because again, when you are bullying, you’re not really experiencing our relationship when you’re, you’re, you’re, you’re, you’re not really because the relationship is it’s a give and a take.
2 (10m 37s):
It’s a given and take. And when you balloon, sorry, I, I let that go. When it’s bullying, then you know what, I’m staying in this fence because it’s fence says, you know what, I gotta do it this way to get it done. And I will not allow someone else to love me in different way. So really glad. Yeah, definitely that, that part. Is that going to mess up here? No. Okay. That part, yeah. It’s definitely, it’s definitely secluded and in a, in a very small part that needs to be that needs light, correct?
2 (11m 12s):
Oh, it’s in a compartment so to speak, but boy, when it agitates all the other energies around it, it’s, it’s again, that echoing that bullying is coming, coming forth. Very, very particular. All right. People that was segment number one, we have two more segments ago and we’ll be back with coach Portia. Thank you. Hebrews 13 says the marital bed is undefiled in his book, married couples, Dow shalt have great sex. Doctor B talks about married Christian couples, allowing themselves to enjoy each other intimately.
2 (11m 49s):
There is a issue within marriages, whether Christian or non-Christian of couples who have declined in their intimacy and this book come right at you. That, for example, if you had crazy sex, when you were not married, why would you stop having sex after you got married? And I know that a lot of reasons that comes with a spiritual central marriage can cohabitate, yes, you can be a Christian and have sex and be married at the same time.
2 (12m 22s):
You can do it. I know it’s hard to believe, but you can purchases of this book or any of dr. B’s naturally published books can be made at the bookstore at dr. TC brentley.com, amazon.com or Barnes and noble.com. And now here’s more of your virtual relationship trainer. Here’s more of dr. B. All right, well, back with a real wall with dr. B and we have my lovely cohost for today. The lovely coach Porsche. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.
2 (12m 53s):
So once again, we talking about bullies and really, so now I’m gonna change it a little bit. Sure. Okay. Now, how does someone deal with a bully? Okay. How does someone deal with someone who is always doing that from your perspective as a coach? So again, we just, we speak with the person and we see which part is, is maybe hurtful the most. Okay. But see which part is in pain the most, but again, how do, how does someone deal with a bully though?
2 (13m 26s):
They go within, okay. Because really no one or nothing should be affecting you that much. I see your point now. Okay. I see your point. And then if they’re, you know, most bullies don’t really well, some bullies do fight, but bullies need. The one thing about bullies is that they usually need a team to provoke themselves, to actually touch a person. Okay. So if there’s a team of bullies, then there’s a whole nother, you know, force that we need to take, especially if you are a child, correct.
2 (14m 0s):
You know, parents need to get involved. You know, schools, authority, different types of authorities need to get involved. But as for the person, the child themselves, because I do deal with children that, or adults that run into bullies, and these are bullies from everywhere, bullies from the church bullies, from, you know, their, their spouses bullies from their parents. You know? So there’s, there’s a lot of aspects. Again, we go into, what is the biggest fear, right?
2 (14m 30s):
Why is this bully affecting you so much? Right. So we, we go into that part of, of that doesn’t have light. I like how you said that to deal with a bully, you need to go within, to find out what’s really causing you to feel that way. Right. Okay. Because, because again, no, no. As long as it’s not physical, that’s key where along that physical, right. Again, when there’s, you know, a physical involvement, right. Then there’s, you know, other authorities that need to come into place of that and, and all of that.
2 (15m 3s):
So, so really it is finding out, you know, what is missing in my life that now I’m going a little deep here. That’s making me be attracted to this. Okay. What, what, what what’s attracting me to continue to allow this attitude toward me. Right. You know, I I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m still hanging around this person. I’m still trying to love this person. And I know the person who’s being bullied. So what is that magnetism that’s making me allow the traveler is that magnet that’s making the person attract a bully.
2 (15m 37s):
Right, exactly. Right. And as coach, as a coach, I will go into that part. Sure. So there’s always a part to lead into. Right. And so we go into that part and there’s usually a part of fear that is stuck. Again, fear connected to some baby part that doesn’t yet, that, that does not have light. Usually with this part, I will ask the part, how old is the part, because usually the person will go right into and say, Oh my goodness, this, this is this part that happened at such and such an age.
2 (16m 13s):
And I can remember when, and that starts the healing process. And from my perspective, as a counselor, sometimes they’re just so used to it. All right. They, they, they, they, they were bullied as a child from their parent. They were bullied by their older brother, older sister. And so because of the familiarity, I would never go down because he’s so familiar with that type of attitude, that type of mentality, they just accepted us. In other words, accepted as norm.
2 (16m 46s):
They, they, they accepted that, okay, this is how I’m supposed to be treated, because this is how my mother treated me or even deeper. That’s how my mother treated my father and my father treated my mother. And so they just accept that attitude as a norm. And so that’s why they can become attracted to someone who’s a bully as well. Definitely. I’m on the more deepened, spiritual aspect of it. Sure. A lot of times while it is, it is the result of lack of guidance, lack of support, lack of teaching by a male.
2 (17m 24s):
Okay. So all of these things would STEM from that, but the person sitting in front of me because they are child or, or an adult who has always dealt with this and norm with their norm, their norm, they wouldn’t know that, but it’s a lack of teaching is lack of this lack of family. So if someone doesn’t have a good male role model, how can they learn if they start now, they, they start now, they read, they research, right?
2 (17m 54s):
And they get with accountable people that are great people. So I heard her crate man, once say, if you find where you are, and this thing has been on, repeat, try to get to the root of that thing and stop following that process. I like that. So that again, that was good. So you get to the root of the situation, but you try, you also tried to stop following that process, right?
2 (18m 28s):
Like you almost just like shave it off. Right. Which is hard to, it’s hard to cut off a bloodline. However, in coaching, we do unburden bloodlines and we invite powerful attributes that you would, that the person would need and want from this point in their lives on yet still dealing with the back parts of it.
1 (18m 52s):
And let me say this to you, where you come in, let me say it to you. Some, you know, well, how do I know I’m with a bully? How do I know this person is bullying me to me? It’s very simple. You’re crying. You’re always depressed it. Every time that person comes into your view, you, you start walking on eggshells. I mean, that is not life. That is not how God intended you to be. And, and again, this is really helping you, you know, this is 2020, where you can look at things and do things differently.
1 (19m 25s):
And so if this person is constantly doing this to you, you know, that to me is the definition of a bully because you can’t be yourself. All of a sudden I got to do exactly what he said exactly what she says, because I don’t want to upset them. And that’s not a good place to be in. So, so one thing about
2 (19m 43s):
Bullies have certain attributes. Do you want to go over some of those? I know one for sure is manipulation. When you’re talking about in a place like that for a man is in masculine. Right. Which is, you know, that’s a very deep burden that a lot of couples carry that emasculating. Correct. What other attributes are?
1 (20m 6s):
Definitely my simulation in escalation. A lot of anger. Okay. A whole lot of anger. Because again, that anger is a volcano. I would, they were down a volcano that again, the bully has and the overflow or the lava or the yelling, or the, how about this? The silent manipulation as well. Okay. Or, or from our perspective, passive aggressiveness, you know, you know, your spouse wants that care, so that love, or that hug in the morning.
1 (20m 41s):
And because you’re mad at them, well, you just walked by them for a whole two hours. You don’t say a word to, okay, that’s a sign that, that person understands what’s going on. And it’s affecting you in a very negative way. And somehow you need to make that change. Somehow. I need to make that move because if you don’t make that move, you’ll stay in that place for a very long time. Thank you. They’re saying that my video has no sound. Oh God. Okay. Oh, my video has no sound. Okay. So, so, so, so, so he’s really learning that, you know what?
1 (21m 14s):
I, I can’t stay in this place. I have to move to another direction. I have to move to another mentality because by moving another mentality, then I become stronger. Then I watch his words. I’m not dependent. Right. I’m not dependent. Okay. On the bully. I, I, I’m not looking for that stimuli. Right.
1 (21m 43s):
Okay. I’m not looking for that stimuli in my life to make me continue to make me to continue to grow the baby, to continue to live. Because again, if that person is not there, then I feel, I can’t
3 (21m 55s):
<inaudible>
1 (21m 58s):
No, you don’t need, so <inaudible> no, you don’t need the negativity because now you’re feeding from that. And when you feed from that consistently, you’ll start to become that as well. Yeah. So I always say, if anything is interrupting your piece, that’s just not where you were. That’s a key word. So many times we deal with, you know, not just not, we, I’m not talking about women so many times people deal with so much.
1 (22m 29s):
They, they may not understand what peace really is. I tell you one thing, the older you get, the older you get, you will want your peace. You will want and need
3 (22m 40s):
Enemy necessary. I’m sorry. I had a flashback. I mean, that’s crazy. I’m sorry. A little flashback. All right. We’ll come back. Wits action. But three
0 (22m 59s):
Real raw with dr. B is brought to you by the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs, interdenominational church, Hosea four, six says our people die for a lack of knowledge to that end. Dr. B has written 24 nationally published books on relationships, intimacy and theology. You can check out his library at dr. T C brentley.com backslash bookstore. If you or a loved one are in a difficult season in your life, marriage or personal situation, you can reach out to doctor b@areacodetwozerothreesevenfivethreeseventhreesevensevenorviaemailatbisrealatgmail.com.
0 (23m 48s):
That’s D R B I S R E a l@gmail.com. Now back to your virtual relationship counselor, here’s more of dr. B
1 (24m 0s):
All right. People, we’re back with section three, talking about bullies. And again, hopefully you really understood this, that you cannot stay. Okay. Okay. You cannot stay in that mind frame because what feeds a bully is that you stay there. Okay? You, you, you, you, when you take it and you let them continue to bully you, you are training them to continue to do the same thing to you again and again and again.
1 (24m 33s):
So, so this last segment is all right, and this go for the bully as well as for those who are being bullied. How do we stop that cycle coach? How do you stop that cycle again? So for the
2 (24m 46s):
Bully it’s I would throw, I would put the bully after he’s reached a part of the year, she’s reachable it part of compassion and a perspectives grid so that he could understand what bullying feels like, which I’m sure the bully understands what bullying feels like. That feels like I like ever, however, he may not have come to the light of it, how it makes others feel when he’s bullying as for the person that’s being bullied. Again, it’s, it’s, it’s just digging into the part of the person that’s experiencing the bully.
2 (25m 23s):
I sit with them, I talk about them. We go through their fears. We go through what makes them sad about it. I, I, I go down what we call a river of parts okay. With them. So we could also put them in perspective scripts so that they could drop off some of the weight. And some of the little compartments that are within the grid.
1 (25m 44s):
I liked your point of what it feels like. And I think the bully is so numb or whatever, down there it’s so numb to the affects of what he or she is doing to the counterpart that they don’t even feel anymore because they’re so used to doing that. And the thing about, again, I’ve said this over again, I’ll say it again. I’ll bring is like a big memory brand and it is so used to the numbing of bullying that I forgot.
1 (26m 16s):
Wow. How that person feels. And so when the person is crying, the person is, you know, just totally distorted your brain says out. Yeah. Well, you know, this point has supposed to be no, it’s trying to help them to feel that this is not right. It’s really, and I write this word down is definitely trying to help them to rewire their feelings. How about that coach? Well, you ain’t about that. Well,
2 (26m 45s):
Sure. I, I guess, well, as a counselor, you would put it, put it as that for me, it’s, it’s, it’s them seeing the light. So yeah, it’s almost some, like, I don’t want to say a mental, mental thing that’s going on because it’s more inner, inner, spiritual. I would say that’s going on from, from my point of view. So it’s more of a mental change.
1 (27m 10s):
It is a mental change. And, but again, both parties for the bully or the bullier, a to D I mean, people who are bullied, that has to be a, I say, there’s a consciousness, okay. I’m waking of your conscience, that this is not right. That there has to be an awakening. And it’s a beautiful thing. When both parties can say, you know what? This is not right. This is, this is not working
2 (27m 42s):
Cool.
1 (27m 44s):
And, and the funny I’m laughing because I’ve seen people in my counseling office and, and the person says something to him, like yak, a bully, and they give them a scenario, two scenario, and the person says, the bully says back, do I act that way
2 (28m 2s):
Again again, because there’s little light. So where there’s no latency like right where the crest meets the trough, there is no light. If there’s no light, right? There’s no wind, there’s no cheat. There’s no moving back and forth. There’s no nothing going on in the energy, in the brain of the energy of what they’re doing. Correct.
1 (28m 25s):
And so it’s totally laws. And so they’re not seeing the pain. And again, that cut,
2 (28m 32s):
I would ask the bully, how long have you acted this way? Yeah. I know. Because again, a lot of times it’s triggered back to their own childhood. There’s totally a child part. Totally. That needs to be delivered.
1 (28m 47s):
Totally. And I’ve seen over and over again with people who’ve been writing this down here, people who’ve been rejected. Okay. People who’ve had been sexually abused. Okay. That, that, that, that, that, that catalyst of that small child, again, no one comes out saying, I want to be a bully. It’s something has happened over the years that you have.
1 (29m 18s):
Okay. So I used to be watching this. I used to be in a perspective that I could not protect myself. I, I, I, I could not say no, I could not say stop. And now that I’m an adult, I’m going to say no, and stop as much as I want to. Because again, that’s not part of me. That’s never been healed. That’s never been really, as you said, the light has never come to that place. That makes sense to you. Yes, definitely. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, so, so, so really people what I’m trying to say in essence, what I’m trying to say in essence is that, can we start dealing with the negatives in our lives?
1 (29m 54s):
Okay. Well, how do we start dealing with, I think people are trying to deal with them, but they don’t understand how remembering that I don’t want to call in parts work. We don’t call it negatives. It’s a part that has no light. It’s that part that is lacking compassion. That’s a part that’s lacking healing to me the way I deal with it as a counselor, I was talking about lemonade. Okay. All right. So coach Porsche, how do you make Liberdade water?
1 (30m 28s):
You really want to know how I make lemonade? Miss sit, sit for a job. That’s all right. We started. Thank you very much. Alright, let that go. Brantley. All right. Do people who don’t drink lemonade? You know what? I’ll let you tell how you do limit out there. I do lemonade. Okay. Sure. Alright, so I’ll go for his own digital second. All right. So lemonade for me is water, lemons and sugar. Okay.
1 (30m 58s):
How do you make lemonade? Ma’am I make lemonade with rum. Rum, a little water, a little water, little water, a little water. Okay. A good bit of lemons. Maybe some lime. Just to add a little flavoring and maybe there’s a squeeze of simple syrup. Okay. Not like us allow large amounts. So what, so what if, cause I don’t know what that tastes like. So what if that’s bitter? Is it fine as a bitter? Or do you put a little more syrup in it?
1 (31m 28s):
It’s to the tastes of the person. For me, I’m a bitter bitter person. I like a dryness. I like what? I don’t like. I don’t, I don’t know what you’re talking about. So sweat is usually more on the sweet side. Dry is more on the bitter and she’s training me people how to drink, but I’m not going to do it. Okay. Thank you. Anyway. So the bottom line, but it was loose. Joan says, I like Porsche’s Lucy. We’ll have some, we’ll have some sips when you stop you stop.
1 (31m 58s):
Will you stop doing that? Okay. Okay. Okay. You just started all that type of stuff. Yeah. The point is, is that with lemonade, you add sugar or simple syrup. All simple, sir. In other words, how do you, how do you make that transition? How you make that change? You have to add positive. That’s how you start to make the transition when you, okay. EPS laughing, Eby, you laughing over there. Just keep going. Okay. I’ll go get you.
1 (32m 28s):
You get so nosy. Why he everything. Okay. The bottom line is that you have to add something to the equation. Okay? You, you, you can’t let it go. Yeah.
2 (32m 41s):
So in coaching we do an unburdening. Okay. I like that word. Once we come to that part, that needs light. Once the client, I love that word because the client has to come there. Once the client comes to the part that needs light, we deal with that part. I love that word witness. We, we, we allow that part to say what it needs and, and we speak to the part. Once that part comes to, to the light, the part that that says, yeah, I need to be released.
2 (33m 11s):
We can unburden that part. Love that word burden. The client is willing and ready to unburden that part. Once we unburden the part, we invite great qualities or great attributes into the, into the system of the person. Because from a spiritual perspective, if you unburden, you, you’ve got to replace something. That’s the point I’m trying to kind of feel empty if you don’t, if you don’t okay. Once you on burden, that’s part one, part two is not, what am I putting while playing?
2 (33m 45s):
You gotta see it first. Exactly. And once that is done, because if I don’t put the right stuff in there, then as, as, as, as scripture says, seven more devils, worse will come to you. But it’s really understanding am I really, am I ready to let this thing go? Okay. Okay. Am I willing and able to say, you know what? I’m tired of being in this mentality has an IEP. What’s going on? AP, AP smile again. <inaudible> what am I guys watching?
2 (34m 16s):
Oh, okay. All right. So it’s really unburdening is really letting go because if you don’t let go, this is going to watch his word. All right. So by not a murdering, you know, what’s happening. You’re suffocating. Okay? You are now watch this. You’re not only suffocating yourself. You’re suffocating people who want to love you. Well, and especially if you’re a man you’re suffocating generations to come, that you have with inside of you. So your children, if you’re breeding, you’re bringing your grandchildren, their children.
2 (34m 51s):
So what we do in coaching is we can unburden the bloodline of, especially the person that’s experiencing the bullying and the bullying part or the person that’s providing the bully, the bullying and the bullying part. We invite the attributes of, of, of great, whatever, whatever it is, they need compassion, love, you know, joy for the next person so that they can experience that. What? No, I’m just listening to you. Go ahead, go ahead and look at you when you’re tall.
2 (35m 24s):
Okay. Thank you. Alright, so it’s really unburdening that what is wrong with me? Looking at coach Portia. Thank you. So it’s really unborn.
1 (35m 38s):
John. I’m getting really burning the things because when you let it go again, we let it go then. Guess what piece? So really let’s go back to where do you use when I’m not in peace, then I know something has to change. I’m I’m I’m not living in a peaceful mentality. I I’m I’m I’m I’m always aggravated I’m I’m always upset. Everything bothers me again. That’s a sign and God go deeper.
1 (36m 10s):
I will, your body. Can’t continue to do this either. Okay. Your body, your mind cannot continue to be under this month. What’s the S word stress. You have coach Porter. You got a point on that. No. All right. So, so, so, so really it’s letting the go, it’s letting it flush. Why do we have the small intestines? Why do we have the large intestines? Because we meet to pass the waste. We need to let it go. And a bully is not passing the weight.
1 (36m 41s):
The, the, the, the, the, the person who’s being bullied is not passing the waste. Okay. Again, you know, we don’t understand how important it is to get the toxicity out of it. But when you let the toxicity stay in, you will eventually die. You will eventually pass away because what’s in you is not eventually coming out. Well, it’s all full of darkness. Exactly. Exactly. And for me, as a believer in Christ, again, it’s casting all your cares upon him for, he cares for you.
1 (37m 11s):
Why? Because I understand, and I love the word you use. I have to unburden myself. I have to, an a time is running out. That’s why the most important thing that teach couples to do you ready for this? It’s the F word, forgive. If I don’t learn how to forgive, whether they ask for it or not. If I don’t learn how to forgive, I will stay stuck. Okay. In that position.
1 (37m 41s):
Yeah. So, so, so, so what is the in counseling? What is the healing agent, I guess, that you use for either, either the bully or the PR or the person being bullied, the healing agent is that aren’t you ready for change? And I use it in a, a, a monetary perspective. I said, have you changed your car since you’ve been married? Having you change your clothes since you’ve been married? Have you changed your hairstyle dances? Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, since you’ve changed those things, then it’s time for you to have an internal challenge.
1 (38m 15s):
Definitely. Because when you have that internal change, then everything around you becomes better. It’s kinda like my glasses, my glasses right now are, are, are quite dirty. But if I clean my glasses, then all of a sudden I can see clearer. I have a 2020, but when my glasses are dirty, then my perspective is
2 (38m 36s):
Contaminated. My perspective is polluted. That’s why we have issues down the road. Definitely. All right. People that was segment number three. That’s the last segment, coach pause. Please tell about how people can get in contact with ya. Sure. Visits me at a coach Porsche at <inaudible> dot com or you can reach me on my website, my information site, sit, sip, chat.com. Or you can look me up here on Facebook, under Porsche Gorham, G O R H a M are the people.
2 (39m 6s):
And thank you very much, coach Porsche for being a part of us. And hopefully you’ll come back again real soon. Sure. Thank you so much for having me well, glad to have you. Thank you. No, I’m not alright people until next time.
0 (39m 21s):
Peace. Thank you for tuning into real row with dr. B, this show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact at dr. B is real@gmail.com. If you’d like to hear the show again, you can go to the real raw with dr. B Facebook page. If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997.
0 (39m 58s):
We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for donations of $25 or more, we will send you an autographed copy of one of his books. For more information about dr. B, you can check him out at dr. TC brentley.com or on Twitter at coach TC Brantley, and on Instagram at dr. Brantley pH D until next time be encouraged and to God
2 (40m 27s):
Glory.
