Transcript of Alpha Mate Podcast Episode

Transcript of Alpha Mate Podcast Episode:

0 (1s):
Welcome to Real. Raw with Dr B this nationally published author and pastor has made it, his life’s work to helping people strengthened their relationship with God themselves and each other with 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for Real Raw With Dr B Oh my

1 (36s):
Goodness. This is Dr B and we hear every single time you turned it off Podcast uh, and, uh, we were on Parascope. We’re on Facebook. We’re on YouTube. We’re everywhere people a, so a LinkedIn, we are trying to help, uh, people in relationship with themselves, with God and with Others to be better. Uh, because again, this is where people are dying for a lack of knowledge, and you can go to our website, WW dot Dr, T see brantley.com, uh, as well as a rest.org as well.

1 (1m 12s):
So again, people were just being real and a With is trying to help you become better situated. And how are you doing a Periscope? We are on Periscope as well. All right, so today’s episode. Oh Lord. Here I go. Alpha okay. Now, now it’s very important that, uh, usually there is one person in a relationship who is the Alpha. Okay. Alpha means the dominant.

1 (1m 43s):
Okay. And when you have that, and usually either is both, both the dominant or one is okay now, so let’s break it down. Alright. If you both are Alpha, this is going to be some issues, unless you guys come to a discord of understanding, you know what? I gotta submit to each other. Okay. The only way you going to deal with both of you being Alpha.

1 (2m 14s):
In other words, you both are a strong, you, you you’re both are a very, uh, uh, sometimes egotistic. Yep. I said that, uh, and you very dominant yet. I said it. Alright, eat. These is five and 21. It says submitting yourselves, one to another, in the fear of God, I’m a mom. I’m reading from my book that I wrote on marriage. Love and intimacy. So submitting yourselves, submitting your Self. So if you both are alpha, okay. You both have a strong, okay.

1 (2m 45s):
Uh, your, your, you both yell. You both are, you know what? Now, now can we go deep? Okay. Okay. First I’m dealing with the, both of them. Please remind me to go back to If. One of the only Alpha right. Using the reason why someone is, has a Alpha. Okay. It’s really for two occasions. Okay. Occasion number one was abuse. Alright. And the occasion number two is your only cycling. Okay. Let me explain that in counseling. Okay. Either as a child, you were abused.

1 (3m 17s):
Okay. You went through a horrific abuse in your life. Okay. Something happened to you. Someone did something to you. That was a horrific, it was hurtful. It is totally discombobulated. You and know what you said, you said that I will never, ever be in that situation again. And so as a child, subconsciously, all right. Subconsciously subconscious. Okay.

1 (3m 47s):
Subconscious. You kept that going on. You know, I’m never going to let the Dr and I’m never gonna let that I’m not. No, no. Okay. That all makes sense. All right. The problem is, is that now that you are grown and now that you have a family of your own, or that mentality have a child is now in your what? In your adulthood. And now you’re treating your Mate. Oh boy, EAP. Don’t like this. Now your treating your Mate like the, what? Come on says, say, are you treating him? Like the word sad, sad, like the abuser.

1 (4m 20s):
Okay. You’re treating them. Let the abuser. So your outfit, they can’t say nothing. That can’t speak nothing. Cause you don’t. Are you a Chihuahua? You just, you just, you, you are a rock Wilder and a pit bull wrapped up in one. And then you got the nerve to say, but how goes you don’t want to talk to me? How come you don’t want to talk to me? Because you are putting that Alpha or The your abuse.

1 (4m 52s):
I’m going to help with somebody right now. You putting the abuse on your Mate. You putting the, your abuse on your child. You putting the abuse on everyone in church, you putting a little abuse on people, on your job, your putting the abuse. And when you continue to do that, when you continue to abuse, when you continue to hurt, when you continue to pull down, you’re only messing up your next level. You only messing up where you want and need to go.

1 (5m 25s):
So it’s not now, also that, that part of one point number two, it’s your cycling. In other words, you saw your parents do it. Okay. Now this is really deep. Usually if there’s a Alpha person, mama, or daddy, or the parent was also what? An alpha. Okay. Somebody’s in your family. What’s the Alpha okay. Either a momma or your daddy. It wasn’t abuse either.

1 (5m 55s):
Your mother or father was Alpha or someone that you looked up to, someone that took care of you was an Alpha and they was so strong. They were so impactful on your thinking. There was so powerful on your thinking. Are you hearing today? Is that again? You bring that control or the EAP that don’t like me control. There you go again. A please look at my other, a telecast, a podcast or controlling.

1 (6m 25s):
Okay. Hey, you God now you, you are becoming controlling. Why? Cause your alpha. Okay. And I’m going to get back to me and you think, okay, again. Okay. You saw your father, uh, Oh, your mother. B very a rolling stone. Uh, a lot of cheating of evolves. Right? You sought as a child. Okay. So you saw a lot of cheating, right? And so now that you know, DOE your spouse does your spouse has one minute late.

1 (6m 58s):
I ain’t talking about two hours. One minute late. What are your big <inaudible> to get a, I was one minute laid down. I’m your son now. God but, but to see what’s happening, you are really okay. Now this is very powerful. Here. You are really reliving the pain. Okay. That’s why are you becoming such a Alpha?

1 (7m 29s):
You are reliving the pain. You are reliving the trauma you are. Okay. Okay. I know you don’t see that. That’s why you got me. God the V. Okay. Okay. That’s why I’m here. Come to training to help you understand is that you being a Alpha is not going to rectify the pain. Now what you do, you tell your spouse, this triggered me. And then it ended in and, and, and, and this occurred to me in my path. Now, now, now the reason why some of your spouses or your major or your children are triggering you, cause you not telling them your testimony.

1 (8m 3s):
I believe the Bible says you overcome by the word of the word of your testimony, but you’re not testifying. Okay? If you’re not telling them the things that you have gone through in your life, then how they know they’re not triggering you. So here you are, excuse me, here. You are trying to deal with that. But again, you are easily triggered. And so, because you’re easily triggered, you go into the Alpha. You automatically take control your, your all a magnet now. And listen, I’m not saying that some of the things that happened to you in your life, uh, you know, has prepaid you and made you out today.

1 (8m 40s):
I’m not saying that at all, but I’m saying when you are over dominant, OK? OK. When your spouse or your loved one or your children can’t breathe, what happens? What happens when someone can’t breathe? Someone tell me what happens then they die. You suffocate them, or they die.

1 (9m 10s):
And many times, if we’re not careful, we Suffolk it board EAP. They don’t like me Ted day. My goodness. You are why you’re suffocating them. Okay. You are so mean, Oh my goodness. You are mean, you mean to the junk yard dog. Okay. Let me come back with segment two, because this is going good. All right. We’ll be back.

0 (9m 40s):
The Bible says that any man that loves his wife loves himself. So it’s in that vein that Dr, B wrote the book, successful marriages for successful men, giving guys the tools on marriage that he was never taught. I tell you that

2 (9m 53s):
Is that my ignorance. Uh, and my first marriage, uh, was definitely Charlotte. And I learned the hard way. And that’s one of the reasons why I write so many books on relationships because no one taught me. And I learned the hard way. And this is my heart, uh, to help men and especially not learn the hard way

0 (10m 14s):
Purchases of this book and all of dr. B’s nationally published books can be made at the bookstore at Dr. T see brantley.com. They can also be bought on Amazon, as well as Barnes and noble.com. Now here’s more of your virtual relationship counselor. This is more of dr. B. This

1 (10m 33s):
Is Dr B. We are back and yes, I know. I know. Listen, listen, don’t you tell him, I know what you did. Don’t you dare care of this. Podcast don’t you, I’m sending a set your free group. I’m trying to set you free your brother. Okay? Okay. So we ended on, yeah, I said it. You mean B you are so controlling. Okay? You have this Alpha mentality. Okay. Now again, now again, you cannot expect, how can you tell somebody, talk to me?

1 (11m 9s):
And you got your hands around their neck. Talk to me. I can’t talk to you. You going to tell me what’s going on and you’re suffocating them. Am I making sense? Somebody? There is no way you can have a good relationship. If you sold out that you are suffocating your spouse, you are. So Alpha that your mean to them? That there is no communication? No one can’t say nothing. Unless you give permission.

1 (11m 40s):
That is not a good place to be in. Matter of fact, that’s not godly. It’s not godly. You know, matter of fact, uh, you be more, uh, like a Pharisee. Yeah. You being more, you know, like someone that doesn’t know how to do it, uh, let’s go to, uh, uh, Colossians three and 12, one recent for your real quick here, Colossians three and 12. I will tell you I ain’t come here to preach.

1 (12m 12s):
Okay. I didn’t come here to teach. I come here to help, uh, help with counseling. That’s why I’m here for, uh, three and 12 says, put on therefore, as the elect of God, Holy and beloved bowels of what? Mercies, kindness, ominous of mind, meekness and long suffering. If you are totally Alpha, you’re not doing that scripture. And I had to say this to you, church folks. I do. Y’all get to be mean sometimes. And then you turn around and speak in tongues.

1 (12m 48s):
You mean to you to speak in tongues? You can’t do that. You can’t do it now, now, uh, now. Okay. So I explained if both people are Alpha. All right. So let me explain if one is Alpha and one is not all right. So if one is Alpha, the other part is not, then you going to be dominant. Okay. Are you going to be totally dominant? And it’s always going to be

3 (13m 12s):
Yes, dear. Okay. That’s what the relationship.

1 (13m 19s):
That is not a relationship. Okay? The person is so dominant that way of that. If I have a difference of opinion, you totally stifled me. You totally destroyed me. That’s not a relationship. I know y’all don’t like me. That’s all right. I’m telling you the truth. Now, those who will take my word of wisdom, I will guarantee you. You listen to my podcasts every week. You were have a better relationship. I’m telling you, I’m like a virtual marriage therapist for you. Okay? Are you sending your questions?

1 (13m 49s):
Your sending your comments to the doctor. B is real@gmail.com and we’ll cover certain things for you. But again, if you are so Alpha and so dominant and, and I’m going to go here. I’m going to go here. I’m going to go here. Some of you are so Alpha.

3 (14m 6s):
Yeah. Hit him. Okay. You going to catch a case soon or later?

1 (14m 13s):
Okay. And ladies, this goes for you too, as well. If the man can’t <inaudible> listen to it, the man can’t hit you. You can’t hit your man. I’m sorry. That goes both ways. If you can’t hit your man than why are you hitting your man? I’m sorry. It doesn’t go both ways. It can’t go both ways. And you are trying to hit your spouse into submission.

1 (14m 47s):
All right. You’re trying to hit. I’m sorry. Hitting is wrong. Okay. Hitting is wrong. Okay. Here you are hitting. Now, if you only the BDSM, there’s a whole different story. OK. But if I’m getting trouble with that one, if you’re hitting your spouse out of anger, any hitting at all, period. Wrong. There’s no justification for it, but you so Alpha okay. Okay. Here you are. You’re losing control a right. That you’re hitting. Okay, your honor.

1 (15m 17s):
Again, you’re treating your spouse as if they, one of your children. You’re treating your spouse as if they’re The they’re below you. Oh wow. So here you are really, really putting down your spouse. Okay? You’re putting down. Okay. You’re putting down. Okay. And if you’re putting down your spouse, you didn’t have godly.

1 (15m 47s):
You, you, you think God is pleased with you destroying your spouse. You really think God loves him. That you make your spouse cry. You really think God loves it. When you make your spouse want to commit suicide, I’m teaching somebody that you really think God loves it. That you have no, what’s the word. What’s all. You know what? I’m a race. All the stuff I’m putting this word down, or C C again, this happened with you to Alpha. Okay. You have no, what’s the word

3 (16m 19s):
Empathy.

1 (16m 22s):
No. In other words, you don’t feel, you don’t feel nothing. Your spouse is crying. Your spouse’s in the bathroom, your spouse’s totally discombobulated. You know, they are. And then some of you have the uncle and my God and some of you have the nerve to enjoy beating and destroying your spot. And you know why that’s what you saw as a child. I’m coming. I’m coming up that spirit right now. You sorta, as a child, you saw your mother a totally destroyed you. So your father totally destroyed.

1 (16m 53s):
Alright. And so that, that, that spirit, I I’m, I’m going to deep on somebody’s that spirit that happened to you as a child has never let it. That’s why they’re called familiar spirits. And so now here you are an adult doing the exact same thing, and I don’t care what your title is. Pope, Bishop a parcel, a prophetess of the Messiah. I don’t get what’s your title. Is you going to have that title? In other words, Messiah. Anyway, I’m going to what your title is. If you are so dominating that you are destroying your Mate, there’s a God that pleases God get the deal.

1 (17m 29s):
You think that makes God happen. That you are telling the world how beautiful you are. You’re running for mayor running for governor and your local office of your home. And yet you destroy them yet. You make them feel like the bottom of your shoe. And you’re telling me, God’s please with that. You, you, you really telling me that’s going to go well, yeah, you really telling me that’s a good thing.

1 (17m 59s):
And then you take your frustration out a lot of your day on your spouse, on your children or the gold fish or the dog or the cat. I mean on the car. I mean, listen, you just got the tires, you got the diet and you know, wait a minute. The times I ain’t do nothing. I’m sorry. I went off on somebody. I digress. Okay. I’m saying to you that is wrong. I know in 2020, there is no such thing is wrong.

1 (18m 31s):
What is wrong? Okay. When you are taking the tools that God has given you to help, and you’re using the, to, to destroy, I’m going to help with somebody right now because your not doing well. All right, let me come back with segment number

0 (18m 46s):
Real Raw With Dr B is brought to you by the total relationship Trainor, a ministry of restoration Springs and the denominational church. Hosea four six says our people die for a lack of knowledge to that end. Dr. B has written 24 nationally published books on relationships, intimacy and theology. You can check out his library at Dr. T see brantley.com backslash bookstore. If you or a loved one are in a difficult season in your life, marriage, or a personal situation, you can reach out to dr.

0 (19m 24s):
b@areacodetwozerothreesevenfivethreeseventhreesevensevenorviaemailatdrbisrealatgmail.com that’s Dr B I S E a l@gmail.com. Now back to your virtual relationship counselor, here’s more of Dr B. This is B on, uh, in your pocket. Podcast

1 (19m 53s):
We are on Periscope. We are on YouTube. We are on LinkedIn, everything, wherever, what we’re out, there are people, all glory to God. I thank God for a grade, a executive producer. Uh, if you want to contact him a doctor B is real@rawatgmail.com. If you want me to come on your podcast, you can contact me there as well. All right. Today’s a broadcast was on Alpha, uh, and being so Alpha that you are dominating, uh, your spouse.

1 (20m 23s):
You are overwhelming your spouse, and I’m telling you right now that does not and will not work. Now, listen, I ain’t trying to beat you up. Okay. But again, uh, our scripture for our Podcast is my people die for a lack of, of what knowledge we, a lot of stuff on church. All right. We, we, we, we hear about being blessed. Uh, we hear about going to the level who about we are about all these purchase, which is good, but how many of us hear about relationships? Okay. How hear about relationships.

1 (20m 55s):
Alright. Okay. The only way we’re going to get better at this. Okay. Is that we got, and to be real, we, we gotta stop hiding. Okay. And when you are so Outre that, uh, your spouse, can that be who they really are? That they, they, they, they really can’t totally express themselves. Do they? They really can’t really be real with themselves. Right? All because you are in this bad place, your end, this messy, you, your, your, your, your, in this mentality. Cause again, you are redoing the past.

1 (21m 27s):
You are redoing the pain. You are just cycling. What you experienced. That’s all your doing my brother. That’s all your doing my sister. And so listen, how do you stop that? I’m so glad you asked that. Okay? Okay. You start that. But by number one, let your spouse tell you, you know, what are you acting up? Okay.

3 (21m 52s):
Okay.

1 (21m 53s):
I hate to say this, but you give your spouse permission to talk to you. I hate to say that that’s how dominating you are. Madam that’s. How are dominating you officer? You know, they see something going wrong. You’re going down a date and you’re going down the cliff or off a cliff. And you are so dominating. They cannot tell you, you know what, what about to go off the cliff? OK. We’re about to die. <inaudible> we’re about to be totally destroyed.

1 (22m 23s):
And so that’s not a good place to be. Okay. So it’s giving them permission to speak to you. Okay? Okay. It’s giving you saying, you know what, honey? I know I have a Alpha mentality in me. Okay. Now, now that’s another thing you do. It’s also confessing.

3 (22m 40s):
Yeah.

1 (22m 43s):
That was also confessing. You know what? I have this personality. Yes. I, I have this a proclivity. That’s a big word. A <inaudible> to go off. I had this proclivity, uh, to shout. I just put clever T to yeah. Okay. Because the, again, that is something that you learn from your, from your past. Okay. And all your doing, you are repeating the past. All right. So give them permission to speak up.

1 (23m 15s):
Confess. I am a alpha confess. I’m a wife. I’m a control freak.

3 (23m 23s):
Yeah. Yeah.

1 (23m 26s):
Let me confess, you know what? I do want to be controlled. Why? Because again, as I said earlier, you will, you were in a bad situation that kept you in that bad place. It, it, it made you feel a certain way that you could not do this. Okay. And it made you feel that you know what this is beyond, and I can’t do this. Yes, you can. Yes. You can do this, but you have to want to do this. This is going to be a fight people or, Oh, okay. This is going to be okay. Again.

1 (23m 56s):
I I’ve, I’ll give you points so far. All right. This is going to be a lifetime fight. Lifetime lifetime, a lifetime fight. Okay. The The this is not going to be all right. Let me pray about it. And let me run a church real quick. Again is gone. No, this is going to be a lifetime fight of you putting God over your emotions and then understanding also how to get rid of this or how you deal with this. It’s also understanding the triggers.

1 (24m 28s):
All right. Okay. Okay. Are you going to hear that a lot? In my counseling sessions, you got to understand what are my triggers? What are the things that are making me so depressed? What are the things that are, uh, destroying me and putting me in this bad place. Now, now, now, again, some of y’all are mad at me right now. You know why? Cause your Alpha that’s.

1 (24m 58s):
Why are you mad at me right now? Because I’m telling the, to, I I’m telling you the truth and, and listen, you can not continue the Alpha mentality. OK? Here’s your husband in a corner. And you talking to him, like, I’m about to go off again. You’re talking to your husband, like a child. Okay. You’re talking to your wife, like a child that is not going to work. Someone comes into a room and you’d tell your husband, shut up.

1 (25m 28s):
Wait a minute. I a dog. I’m yo, wait a minute. That’s alpha people that is being so controlling. Okay. Now I’m going to go real deep on you now. Say it again. When you are that controlling, you’re not walking in faith. Yup. Yup. I don’t told you that, but I can’t keep no, man. You know why you can’t keep your mind because your alpha alpha you, your, your, your, your, your, you can’t listen to help deal with when the Alpha let the person be themselves.

1 (26m 15s):
Okay. Let them be themselves. Okay. You’re trying to listen. You’re trying to put a boat. Listen, I don’t wear bow ties. You know, I’ve tried to do the style of bow tie, but I couldn’t do the bow tie, but here you are. Well, you know, what are you on date? Me? You gotta put on both times. Well, if he tried to put on both the time and then make, ’em like a little boy, take a boat town with that, man, that man God. Why are you putting a bow tie on a man?

1 (26m 45s):
Ain’t know a little boy. I’m sorry. I digress. I’m okay. I’m not saying bow ties are wrong. I’m just giving an example of you trying to change your man and does something that he’s not listen. God well, you know, what are you? My wife and I want you to wear long dresses. Yeah, your wife is fine. Okay. Your wife look good. All right. And here you are trying to make your wife look like she, even the eighties, you’re a woman saying that shit, Shannon and I maybe 80 years old, but I don’t remember having too much fun doing that.

1 (27m 31s):
All I’m saying to you is that that’s controlling. Okay. Do you now, okay. Now and my last segment here is good. OK. What’s the difference between being controlling, talking to somebody or controlling and compromise. All right. Okay. Now we’re talking. Okay. The devil drink control and compromise. Or is that what compromise? What? Coming together. Okay. We’re being your night.

1 (28m 2s):
Okay. Where we’re coming on. One accord defined what is applicable to both of us. Apple goes to the big word for what can fit both of us when you do that. That’s when you grow. Okay. When you do that, that’s when you really do things in a positive way. So really that’s where you really put things in proper perspective. Is that okay? Let’s try to find a compromise. Okay. Uh, let’s try to find something that we can agree on together.

1 (28m 35s):
But when you are in a controlling or Alpha, there’s no agreements, whether that there is no coming together, the The, there is no equaling a point, okay. You are in a bad place. Alright. And there is no way that the ratio is going to grow. Okay. Uh, okay. Uh, there is no way that you going to do great things because you are not working as a team. Okay. You’re working against your, your, your, your, uh, and, and matter of fact, if your, if you’re hurting your spouse, can I say some real deep you’re hurting yourself?

1 (29m 16s):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And we happen to somebody today. I hope I did. Okay. Again, controlling and compromise the two different things, because you’re working with your spouse, you’re working with your mate to become a better, all right. This is dr. B. Uh, uh, I think I let go enough. Alright. People are, I pray that we have blessed you in some way, two things, please share the Podcast.

1 (29m 46s):
Okay. Two things. All right, please share the podcast. All right. That’s number one. Uh, make sure, put that somewhere. And that announcement, right? Number one, please share the Podcast. That’s how we grow. That’s how other people blessed. Number two, pray about being a sponsor of our Podcast a again will bless your, where your virtual counselor. Okay. Where your virtual counselor and you know, yours could take good care of your counselor, right? Whether you give or not, we’re going to go for, to do what God’s told to do.

1 (30m 16s):
So please, uh, you know, share, listen to my EAP, a zit, a producer, kind of the enemy, and we’ll see you on our next. Podcast pull you a blessing

0 (30m 27s):
Until next time. What’s my word. Thank you for tuning into Real Raw with Dr B. This show is a product of the total relationship Trainor, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact at dr. B is real@gmail.com. If you’d like to hear this show again, you can go to the Real Raw with Dr B Facebook page.

0 (30m 59s):
If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997. We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for donations of $25 or more, we will send you an autographed copy of one of his books. For more information about dr. B. You can check him out at Dr. T see brantley.com or on Twitter at coach T C Brantley and on Instagram at Dr Brantley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God

1 (31m 38s):
B the glory.