Transcript Counselor and Coach

Transcript Counselor and Coach

0 (1s):
Welcome to Real. Raw With, Dr be this nationally published author and pastor has made it, his life’s work to helping people strengthen their relationship with God themselves and each other with 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences, with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for Real Raw With Dr be

1 (37s):
What’s up. What’s up. It’s been awhile. And I don’t know. The last time we did cafe Grania or crank crannies, this is the counselor and she’s the Coach, but otherwise knows as Dr. Brantley and Coach posher Brantley I haven’t, I had a name change. Since we last time she had a name, change people. Yes. She has come over to the brand team Brantley and so we got married August 29th and the missile COVID and things have been going, and we haven’t done this.

1 (1m 23s):
And I hate to say this has been the last couple of months in a while. So we all recommit it. We repent for not pushing us to do this. And this is Friday also in as our date night, where we do things together because we believe in investing in a relationship. So spending our date tonight with you guys. So yes, you guys must be very, very, very special when the call I’m going to set things and all night with you guys. All right. I’m the artist knows the way around out of the guys. We want to say that if you are watching this December 4th and I’ll come back, why the forces are important to us, we’ll be back on Facebook per w will be on different social platforms for a webinar we’re doing on Sunday, the six at 6:00 PM.

1 (2m 22s):
And we’re having Coach Porsche myself. Also, Mr. Watts, his lovely fiance, and also having my son on her son, our son, our son. I said the same that it’s T Tom is saying Tony Fox and Caitlin. So that will be on Sunday. We try to do at least two webinars every month. So the fourth, why is the fourth important? Do you want to tell them there’s a stamp, like a staple stamp and the fourth

2 (3m 1s):
It’s one of the days that we started first sort of hanging out. Not yeah, yeah,

1 (3m 8s):
Yeah, yeah. It’s the fourth, the day I will never, ever forget September 4th and just had one of those lovely days.

2 (3m 20s):
It was a come to you moment with Jesus. It was

1 (3m 22s):
Come to Jesus. And he told me after I came there, go to the Porsche and it was, I, I called not right.

2 (3m 36s):
Yeah. I called, you know, I emailed you. We didn’t have each other. And then yeah,

1 (3m 40s):
Yeah, yeah. I want to make sure that she was correct.

2 (3m 46s):
You know? So I guess this is kind of a beginning of our story, right? Like through this moment, I don’t know. Right.

1 (3m 52s):
So I emailed her. I said, you won’t go to the movies.

2 (3m 57s):
No, you didn’t say that. You said, I really need someone to talk to. That’s like,

1 (4m 2s):
Yeah. Anyway, she was at seaside all day at leech in my area. You can tell her how beautiful she is, how she, she she’s, she’s really a mermaid Hammond, Moravia. If I could

2 (4m 17s):
Live at the ocean, like 24, seven, I

1 (4m 19s):
Still will do that. Certain days, certain days of the month, she turns into a murmur and I can’t find it she’s out in Nosha I’m the beach bum guides. So it’ll be each bum. Yeah. And so she has seaside all day. And so,

2 (4m 37s):
And you were having a hard time. I

1 (4m 39s):
Was having, I was supposedly dating somebody else or trying to do somebody else will start. Let’s take a sip on that one. You know? So, and so I met her, but I told her

2 (4m 57s):
Specifically alert, direct

1 (4m 60s):
Colored, right. Person. I told her, this is not a day that I did do that.

2 (5m 7s):
Hmm.

1 (5m 10s):
And now I remember the movie we saw now, I don’t see that tells you right now. Her mind was not in the movie. I wonder what your mind we saw in 1917, the world war one movie.

2 (5m 32s):
Yeah. That could be

1 (5m 34s):
Right there. So she could be right. And after that, we, we have not that he’s built the site.

2 (5m 43s):
Yeah. It’s been a good friendship friendship that grew into an amazing 20, 20 marriage. Yes. Engagement and marriage. Brothers can Matt brothers and we’d done. They are capable of it and can get engaged and married. And the same year. I know some of y’all can’t do that. Cause you ain’t never heard that before. Some of y’all been <inaudible>. Huh?

1 (6m 10s):
Right. That’s the way to me. But

2 (6m 15s):
Yes, I proposed

1 (6m 19s):
Proposed. She has a very distinct dialect. I might not as an integrate our propose on the first Saturday in February. Do you remember the date? February six, February 1st.

2 (6m 41s):
It was about Saturday. I was five days off February 1st,

1 (6m 49s):
February 1st. Yeah. And when I ask you the Miami, you said, let me think about it. So that was February. And did I think a month after that we went on a calendar and we said, we went to a calendar. We went to a calendar, we went to my phone calendar, a calendar. I told us she, she, she, she had like, anyway, so we looked at the months.

1 (7m 31s):
We did not want to get married in.

2 (7m 34s):
We did that. Yeah. I love.

1 (7m 40s):
And so we first wanted a cause September and we couldn’t get September. So we backed it up one month and

2 (7m 52s):
Yeah, August 29th, which is the day we married was actually chosen for us by the venue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we wanted to go very inexpensive. We chose a brunch wedding and much cheaper for those that are looking to do weddings, brunch wedding. We did, we did do it on a Saturday morning, Saturday morning. Yes. And that was the COVID people in the midst of COVID. But, but when things opened up a little bit, right, we did. And it was, it was very beautiful. It was very, very beautiful wedding. And it was beautiful

1 (8m 32s):
Me because when we left the altar, he was paid for,

2 (8m 38s):
Oh yeah, we weren’t gonna do that. Like have meals after the wedding, we were compromised so much. You know what? I think we realized how much we were a team. Yes. During those, during those months, because during those months we had a goal and it was like our first project together,

1 (8m 59s):
The team, I would think as a, as a Counselor, as a coach, I tell couples who I counsel that your first baby or your first major production and love, I’ve told you that before is your wedding, because it was, it will show you very quickly when you are who you are and whether you can get along. So I am, I am proud to report that lion love will never have my wife. Well, I show <inaudible>.

2 (9m 33s):
Yeah. We kept it very simple because of COVID I think,

1 (9m 38s):
Do you think we would have kept as somebody as a little thing? So

2 (9m 40s):
I think so we didn’t, we really didn’t have a, a wedding party. No. So it was just, it was just the Mister and missus,

1 (9m 49s):
No time chasing them, the Negroes down as it. Did you get your tendency though?

2 (9m 55s):
Yeah, that will probably have been a lot. Whereas with our busy schedules and stuff, we just couldn’t do it. I did have some little girls that wanted to be flower girls or I dunno. Yeah. You told them. No, I just couldn’t, you know, I just want to somewhere just very simple, which was very nice. It still looked like we had a huge wedding party, even though we had like, my sister helped me

1 (10m 24s):
And isn’t it a blood on all, all it is on YouTube. All right. So, so if you stay on this YouTube page and scroll, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. Just go back to like August. You’ll see our wedding. Yeah,

2 (10m 38s):
Because it was live. It’s also on Facebook. If you’re on Facebook, look up till the DC Brantley or Porsche.

1 (10m 46s):
And so that’s what we did. Yeah. So let’s, let’s let’s Porsche G Brantley G stands. Good. Yes, sir. So let me re reapply why we do Caffrey crannies. We want to really kind of, I’m a pastor as well. I mean, you can’t believe that, but I’m a pastor, right?

2 (11m 12s):
I’m not a first lady guys. No, whatever.

1 (11m 15s):
Yeah. And I don’t want her to be a first lady. I want to be my wife and we just wanted to kind of mix our worlds together. And so sometimes we do scripture study. Sometime we just talk about our lives that we’re doing right now. And again, we apologize. It will be on every single Friday, whether it’s for five or 10,

2 (11m 36s):
We will 30 minutes. I’ll go since once a week. W no, that’s not our goal. We’re going to trial baby. That’s not our goal. It was like once a month, we were kind of doing it. And now we’re going to try to do no, no, not every Friday is our night. Sorry, guys. I love you guys. I love you guys.

1 (11m 58s):
We’re going to try and do a little more how’s that? Well, yeah. Okay.

2 (12m 3s):
Going into 2021. So, so it was funny because our goal was to have like 50 cafe crannies before we even produce The Coach and the Counselor and YouTube. So,

1 (12m 16s):
You know, I’m not sure. Okay. So the bottom line, we’re going to be doing the more okay. W w whatever done. And the one, and I think not since the wedding, no, since, yeah. It’s been a while. It’s been a while. So, so that was the summer. Yeah. So we’re definitely going to try to do more it’s my job to do is on schedule. So we’ll do to be more, go more, but excuse me, if anything, we’re trying to show relationships. We also trying to give people hope for, for love. I’m the man

2 (12m 49s):
Of, especially at our ages.

1 (12m 51s):
Yes. Believe it or not people I’m 55 years old, and this is not fake here. This is actually the glory of the Lord upon my life age. And this is her real hair too. This is all her hair is called charm. Yeah. It has the name. And this is one of the reasons why I, I want the merrier. I’m getting looks at it right now, because I’ve never seen a woman. I know The out there, but the girl with long hair and its wonderful and it’s not tacky. I mean, yeah.

1 (13m 33s):
I love my hair. I do

2 (13m 36s):
Video soon. One day I’m actually around January 5th. Cause my locks will be 10 years old.

1 (13m 43s):
Okay. And they, they are personality and of themselves. They are. So, so the five years of our five months, five years, five months that we’ve been married, you know, not perfect.

2 (14m 5s):
Well, it wasn’t perfect. I know, but what was it

1 (14m 9s):
Perfect. You know, I’ll take the lead on this. So, you know, sometimes, you know, I didn’t have my connection. Right.

2 (14m 20s):
Wait throughout this whole time or no, the mayor

1 (14m 25s):
The match. Yeah. Yeah. And the thing I didn’t notice, but I know the Katherine and the ship is supposed to see all of the icebergs. So that’s my job, but I’ll be honest. One of my major fears, and I know when I pulled it over, your fear was that she would change on me. And, and that was

2 (14m 48s):
If you are going into the relationship. So, so we’re talking about 20 from the engagement. Right? Right. Okay.

1 (14m 54s):
So I have to report that she did change. She changed for the better.

2 (15m 1s):
I changed my last name

1 (15m 3s):
And she changed my plans too. But you know, that was my, you know, cause of marriage Counselor you hear how people change and you know, the real, you was not shown until after the wedding. And then you find out you really married Ms. Van Baya, it might’ve been entire. No, they are not in that way. More of a mermaid. She a mermaid oyster. That’s all of the sec. So

2 (15m 31s):
For the month.

1 (15m 33s):
So, you know, and, and we’re not doing this for a lot of views, we’re just trying to help. We’re trying to encourage, we’re trying to give some nuggets and we like going life and be like all the life. And so, I mean, you know, so, so guys, you know, it’s all right to have that feeling, but that’s why you date. That’s why you invest, you know, we never put him too much longer. Okay. About 15 minutes, 15

2 (16m 2s):
Minutes where I, we haven’t talked to her or anything.

1 (16m 4s):
Well, not elaborately talked about that, but again, my main thing I wanna mention, it’s the power of investment and you can’t stop investing in your girl and the girl can not stop investing in you. Yes, Adam back to, but if you don’t take care of what God’s giving you a, it will depreciate. And my lady love have not depreciated. She has appreciated because why I appreciate her. And I really think off of the joy and love, she brings into my life.

1 (16m 45s):
I had surgery on my knee. So that was the big feat.

2 (16m 50s):
Yeah. So yeah. So two months, right after the wedding was October two months after the wedding, he had like knee surgery, like a major knee surgery. He had a tear, but you know, This knee surgery that he needed to recuperate from. And it was my first time really having to take care of him. And she did. And the sense I tell you what, it’s hard to stop a person who keeps going it’s, it’s tough to stop a man that has boyfriend, excuse me, it’s hard to stop a man that has so many roles and so much to do and a full-time job.

2 (17m 44s):
Okay. So the sky never really stopped. I think you took off like a long for your surgery. And then he was like, right back into, you know, I think you even tried to counsel that night. And I was like, no, dude, no,

1 (17m 60s):
It’s just shut me down. People. She, she shut me down. She, she took my batteries out, so I couldn’t do anything.

2 (18m 7s):
So, but, but that was, I think our, my first major feature was dealing with U with the knee surgery. He was, he, you were a great patient. You were a great patient, but it was something that we had to face together. You know, you were used to, you know, being on your feet, doing, going and, and just being, and I think it took a lot of patience from you to just kind of settle back and just try to, you know, heal appropriately. A lot of ice bags, a lot of ice bags and a lot of just being, being still what you are not accustomed to doing even during this COVID season.

2 (18m 50s):
Right. So that was like a first like major feat, you know, number one, planning the wedding during this time. And then we had the surgery two to two months later, exactly. Two months. And it was, I don’t, it wasn’t really a planned surgery. It was just like, I need to have this through the surgery.

1 (19m 10s):
Will there be, well, the tube toe money was jacked up at the window.

2 (19m 15s):
I think it got more jacked up at the wedding dancing.

3 (19m 21s):
I think it went wrong.

1 (19m 22s):
Well, you know, out of the soul train line, back in the day and age.

3 (19m 27s):
Yeah.

1 (19m 31s):
But you know, we got through it and I’m still in recovery, but the most part I’m like maybe 89% done. But again, and it’s guys hit me, whatever you put into the relationship and we get out of it now. And, and really, I’m just trying to change the paradigm of thinking that once you get in marriage, you stopped the investment. And no, I brought my lovely wife, some, some flowers,

2 (20m 5s):
Beautiful guys. Let me show you. Oh my God, they’re gorgeous. Favorite flower. So he’s always bringing the flowers. So I haven’t taken them out of the, out of the wrapping yet. But my favorite flower is Calla Lily. So these are the casualties, my favorite flowers mixed with the rules. They are absolutely breathtaking. And the role,

3 (20m 35s):
Oh my God. That’s like our favorite color. I didn’t see that. It was that color

2 (20m 53s):
God is gorgeous. Guys. Look at that. So that’s the old, yeah. Now you can really see the lavender.

3 (20m 60s):
Wow.

2 (21m 0s):
That’s so awesome. Thanks. I

3 (21m 2s):
Feel so.

1 (21m 6s):
And the remaining minutes, just a little bit of smile, you know, it just taking time out investing and your wife and we invest in your wife. The you get ROI, ROI, as you know, in business is return of investment. So if you don’t, so guys hear me. If we don’t put nothing in something out. Yeah, that’s true. I got lipstick on my lips and on my face, if my wife called me and my wife, please buy me out as much because my girlfriend, but some lipstick on my lips and on my face.

3 (21m 50s):
Okay.

1 (21m 54s):
Yes. We still have like girlfriend, boyfriend.

2 (21m 56s):
Yeah. We always date. That’s something. We always promised ourselves. We’re never going to stop dancing and we’re never gonna stop. Like sometimes there’s been times where I’m like, I don’t want to talk to that husband guy. I want to talk to like, where’s my fiance or where’s my boyfriend. Like I want that person. Right. And then that person immediately steps up. So I love that. I have so many parts of him with me. I not only have my friend, you know, a friend growing friendship or an associate, I also have a playmate, a friend.

2 (22m 36s):
I don’t play my boyfriends. Sometime we set play dates. And like one day, two weeks ago, we went to a place called spare time.

1 (22m 51s):
Yes. And after this we’re going into, after this and what time is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2 (23m 3s):
So, yeah. So we went to this place called spare time. It’s in Connecticut. We’re still, we’re still connected. And it was so much fun. It was so much fun. It’s like an arcade bowling alley, laser tag bar, like game’s fun. It’s so much fun. So it was like, he was like my playdate for the night. So, and then that trickled into more play dating Dr during the night. So

1 (23m 38s):
It’s called marinating me

3 (23m 41s):
So crazy

1 (23m 44s):
For you. Take care of that meat. You got it in the right to me and I tend to ride it’s called Davy.

2 (23m 51s):
So let’s wrap this up. So we’re on here 23 minutes, almost like 24 minutes. So basically cafe crannies. We, we do this just as a support to, to, to each of you, Catholic crannies started out as like our personal weekly Bible study. So like Tim said, sometimes we talk about our perspectives on Bible scripture, which maybe we’ll do another one. So, and so you’ll see that. And the lineup, sometimes we talk about our personal stuff. Sometimes we bring you into our world while we’re dating.

2 (24m 33s):
What else?

1 (24m 34s):
No. Yeah. I mean, I, I mean, again, as a marriage counselor, and then as a person that, you know, went through, you know, his own first failed marriage, you know, don’t worry

2 (24m 48s):
People I’ve had so many more,

1 (24m 50s):
The key is, is that you can’t stop dating. And because when you stop dating, you stop investing. And I, you know, I just, I know we didn’t call the it, but it bothers me that restaurants and other places will modify so that people can still come and patronize their businesses. So how can we modify the dating?

2 (25m 17s):
Yeah. Or modify our relationships in a way that, that suits right. The couple,

1 (25m 22s):
Right? Because the bottom line is young lady and I’ll stop here. I never want her to feel that I don’t appreciate it because I do appreciate this wonderful woman that’s coming to my life. And, and as I told her, the sun, so, you know, I never imagined falling in love with Porsche G Brantley. Matter of fact, she actually said that you will not wedding that her journal told her last time.

2 (25m 55s):
No, I didn’t say that. I, I said my journal, well, my journal was telling me that someone was kind, but I would’ve never chosen you. And it was the person

1 (26m 5s):
That she will never chosen.

2 (26m 10s):
Like I w would have never thought

1 (26m 12s):
The circle on the line, the word never. So

2 (26m 16s):
Never say never guys. Well

1 (26m 17s):
Also you never know who the person would be.

2 (26m 22s):
Well, that’s it. You never know what your blessing is packaged and right. So examine your packages. Well, men, especially before you open them, you know, examine your package as well. Don’t just say no, because you know, she has a little weight on her or something. Something is, you know, yeah. It doesn’t have the job you want or yeah. Or she doesn’t look the way you want or something like, just go deeper. Like we’re so surface people as humans, like we’re not often taught to just go deeper, you know? And I learned too is not in how they look at the treat you, because some woman can be a dime, but the teachers are like, why does it, what are the day?

2 (27m 7s):
All right. All right. So now gracefully, we bought on racially, but go to our date night, you know, maybe, maybe one bowl and we’ll come back. But we just wanted to say, we’re sorry for not keeping up our Caffrey crying. And we will definitely be doing more. Yeah. And we can’t promise every like week, but <inaudible>, we’ve got college and we have so many other things like that’s we date on Friday nights, but yeah, but it’s kind of our, we just wanted to check in, this is basically a check-in and she beautifully well that’s because of your life.

2 (27m 49s):
You’re going to think that I don’t think I know. I see many women in my counseling practices. There’s no comparison. They’re busted. I says, that’s not nice. I say, you use the bus, looking at your clients that way. I’m just saying you’ve been a lot of quality. Like I said, in my wedding, no drama. And that’s the key thing that I really love about my wife. She bred me. Hmm. All right. Anything else? That’s it. So you guys just keep up with the culture and the counselor and we will be coming to you with much more in 2020, the ending of 20, 20, and 20 and 21.

2 (28m 35s):
We’re going to make it great. All right. You ready? I left the next time.

0 (28m 42s):
Thank you for tuning in to Real Raw With Dr B this show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact at Dr. B is Real at gmail.com. If you’d like to hear the show again, you can go to the Real Raw With Dr be Facebook page. If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997. We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for donations of $25 or more, we will send you an autograph copy of one of his books.

0 (29m 30s):
For more information about Dr. B, you can check him out at Dr T C Brantley dot com or on Twitter at Coach TC Brantley and on Instagram at Dr. Brantley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God be the glory.