Transcript Christians Behaving Badly
Transcript Christians Behaving Badly
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Welcome to real raw with dr. B, this nationally published author and pastor has made it his life’s work to helping people strengthen their relationship with God themselves and each other with 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for real roar with dr. B, Oh
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My goodness. This is real raw with dr. B, where we’re helping you have a better relationship with God, yourself and others. People die for a lack of knowledge. And the more knowledge you have, the better you’re able to deal with life. So this segment today is as Christians behaving badly, yes. Christians behaving badly. Why? And I think all of us have testimonies of how people who said they were a believer in gold did things that were contrary.
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Contrary. Yeah. Yup. Contrary to the word of God. Now, why does this happen? Why do we do it? Okay, well, why is, is a habit, a part of us? Well, a is very simple. It’s called sin sin. We are sinful creatures and because of our sinfulness and because of our background, it makes us do things that we don’t want to do.
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And matter of fact, in Romans chapter seven, Paul said, I would do good, but what evil is present within me, evil is always going around. Me. Evil is there. And because of that evil is there a, there is a fight. There is, there was a struggle and understanding that this, this struggle watch this. Now this struggle doesn’t make you a nonbeliever. It makes you human.
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Okay. Now, knowing that Christians behave badly, because again, there’s bad in Christians. That’s why very simple, the reason why Christians behave badly because there’s bad in Christians all have what sin. Okay. And come short of the glory of God. So we’re in a wrestling match. We’re in a, a predicament that says, do I do a God’s way? Or do I do what my way?
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And for some believers, they believe that they’re on automatic pilot. Yeah. Automatic. Yeah. Automatic pilot where you know what? I don’t even think about it. It just happens. No, there is a struggle that you and I all have an understanding. The struggle will understand that we’ll have more victories. But, but, but again, this issue of be a Christian is behaving badly, really starts individually.
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Yeah. It starts
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Individually.
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And when I say sauce individually, that means I have to focus on me. I have to say that, yes, God’s called me to preach. And you got this, you got that. But in all of that, I still have to understand that at the drop of a hat. Yeah. Drop of a hat. I can do something wrong at a drop of a hat. I can go to my sin nature at the drop of a hat. I can say things. I can do things to my spouse.
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I can do things to my children. I can do things to the cat and the dog and the goldfish to go for the blue blue. You know, you know what? Because there is bad in me now, why am I taking my time with this? Because if you, now, this is what the enemy does. Very good with people. If you deny, Right. If you denied, there are issues in you, you won’t understand there’s issues. I said it one more time. If you deny there are issues within you, when you deny, all right, there are things I have to fight.
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There are things that I have to be on guard about. Okay? Okay. There are things in my life I have to, there are things in my life. I have to be on guard about the, that, that there are proclivities. There are things in my life that I have to choke out. Okay. Because of, I don’t choke out. It comes back alive. And when it comes back alive, it hurts the people that I love. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah. It hurts the people that are trying to love me. Why? Because I’m not recognizing that there are issues that are there. There are problems that are there. There are circumstances that are there. And when I’ve been in that bad place for a very long time, then it’s going to come out in a very negative way. Now, understanding here. Another reason why some Christians behave badly. It because they don’t talk their emotions.
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Okay? Okay. They
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Don’t let out what’s going on inside. They, they, they, they, they, they, they don’t release an Kimmy loud and clear when you don’t release on a regular basis. When you don’t cast all your cares upon him. Okay? When you don’t do that on a regular basis, then, then what happens? You have a buildup,
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Okay?
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You have a buildup. And when you have a buildup, then your spouse, your children, your coworkers, someone says something negative to you. You immediately want to lash out. Why? Because you didn’t let your emotions go. You, you didn’t share it. That’s why you cast all your cares upon him for, he cares for you. Now, this is very important. Christians behave badly because number one, many, if not careful are trying to be the super Christian, no such thing.
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There is no such thing as you with your Cape on, and you’re flying through the air. Why? Because Philippians four says I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. It didn’t say I can do. And it stopped. Okay. I can do all things. So the super that you may see in me is not me, is to Christ in me. That’s the difference. But again, when you trying to be something that you’re not, when you’re trying to be this super spiritual, you always begin in dong.
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I buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, what’s your name, Bob, will you stop acting like a sheep? Why’d you doing that? Okay. The reason why, if you behaving badly, because you’re trying to beat something that you’re not. Yeah. Yeah. You’re, you’re trying to be something that you’re not, you, you’re trying to beat something that again, I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. So that’s the, that’s the gospel message that yes.
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Even though after being filled the Holy ghost, he has even after joining the judge. Yes. Even after becoming a minister, God. Yes. Even after all that thing, I still have to wrestle. Yeah. I still have to deal with my flesh. Right. I still have to deal with things that make me upset. Okay. When you stop trying to be someone you’re not okay. For example, simple, simple emotion is anger. All right.
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We all know what happens when we don’t put anger on the foot. Talk to Kane. Kane got angry with not only Abel. He also got me angry with God. And because he did not put that in subjection, hear me. Right. Right. But, but, but, but because he didn’t put that in us in subjection, right? Because he didn’t put that in the right place. It exploded. It built. Why? Because he didn’t deal with the emotion.
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He did not deal. So that’s why he behaved badly. Cane is a deep thing. A matter of fact, I did a whole breakdown of cane in my book. That’s coming out later on. Cane really is an example of when you are behaving badly, understand King was I’m sorry. Kane’s lobbying. We don’t know. Kane was the first born person in the Bible. I thought it was Adam and Eve. No, they were not born. They were created.
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So here is this man that is born Cain. And he has all of these emotions in him. Okay. And the reason why many Christians are behaving badly because they’re not okay, watch this word, watch this word, watch this word. They do not identify. Okay. They don’t identify with what’s going on. They don’t identify that there is something there. And when I’m not taking that emotion to God, taking that emotion to someone who’s a therapist or, or, or someone who I can trust when I’m not taking that emotion and dealing with that emotion, washes, that emotion will what deal with me.
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Okay. And how many times coming to church, high time and Lord, and then boom. Hit them that emotion. And then it takes you down. All right. We’ll come back with segment. Number two
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Real raw with dr. B is brought to you by the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs, interdenominational church, Hosea four, six says our people die for a lack of knowledge to that end. Dr. B has written 24 nationally published books on relationships, intimacy and theology. You can check out his library at dr. T C brentley.com. Backslash bookstore. If you or a loved one are in a difficult season in your life, marriage or personal situation, you can reach out to doctor B at area code (203) 753-7377 or via email at dr.
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B is real@gmail.com. That’s D R B I S R E a l@gmail.com. Now back to your virtual relationship counselor, here’s more of dr. B.
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Welcome back people. This is dr. B and we talk about Christian behaving badly. Yeah. Again, it, it, it happens more than we want to mention, because again, it’s the aspect of being real. Okay. When you’re not being real, you’re going to hate badly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. When you are not being understood of where your, Oh, should we dare say the word?
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Should we dare say, should we that year? Your weaknesses? Okay. Or downright sins. Okay. Okay. Oh, Oh, dr. B I haven’t sent in five years. You’re lying July. All right. Okay. Paul said, alright, that I pray that God take away. This issue said, Corinthians chapter 12, he prayed, God, take this away. He takes away.
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And guess what? God didn’t take it away. It stood, it stayed right there. And so what God is trying to get us to understand here in this point here is that we behave badly because we don’t want to understand. There are things in us that is still being worked out of us all. I’ll say that one more time. Ooh. There are things in us. That’s being what worked outside of us.
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All right. In other words, <inaudible> the things. Now, this is where the counseling comes to play. There are things in our childhood, okay. That were deposited. Okay. There were things in our past that were deposited in us and because of that deposit, right, because of our sin nature. Okay. It is a struggle. Okay. And so I am working in out case in point. So some, you know, I used to be 234 pounds, 230, four pounds.
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That’s a lot for my small body frame. Only five, five, nine, five, 10. All right. So I was huge. Okay. So because, you know, God touched me to really, you know, work on my weight. My father died early from high blood pressure. And as you get older, I don’t want to take no blood pressure medication. And you know what I’m saying? And brothers, you know, you know, Hey, I’ll say the devil has had a walk. Don’t take no, no blood pressure medication. It affects them.
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Y’all don’t know me. Alright, let it go. And so worked out. So now thank God. I’m down to one 83, one 85. So I thank God for that, but can I tell you something? If I go bad, one day I’m talking about, I had a honey bunny the other day, I got to confess that I had heard the button and right. And right down the street from our church, when I’m doing my podcasting, there’s a dairy queen opening up And you’ll know, gotten to below the ice cream and dairy queen has that barbecue chicken that they dumped in Bobby Kennedy, barbecue.
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And they got those onion rings. I feel like speaking in tongues. So I understand that if I taste my body light, boom balloons, I mean, two, three pounds, just that quick. Now those were, you know what I’m talking about? You understand, right. It is easy to pile on, but it’s hard to get what, get it off. You’ll know I’m telling the truth.
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It is so easy to eat stuff. That’s not good for your body. And your body will respond in a negative way. Your, your, your body will respond in a way that is not good. Is that correct? That’s correct. So, as I understand that in the c’mon, as I understand that in the physical, right, I got to understand that also then my emotion, all right. So Christians behave badly because they want, they do not want to identify that, listen, this is the body, and this is the emotion that I deal with.
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And if I don’t deal with it, it will deal with me. It happens on a regular basis when I’m not dealing with my flesh. When I’m not saying, all right, Tim chill out and don’t give me no Bishop don’t get me. No pastor chill out because your emotions now are trying to get the best of you. Your emotions now is trying to strung you. Your emotions now are trying to take you to a place that you left a long time ago, and you don’t want to go back to it. So the reason why Christians behave badly is because they don’t recognize.
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I got to keep this thing under. What’s that S word? I gotta keep it under subjection. Okay? Okay. I got to keep my body, my mind on this objection. Now, why would Paul say that? Okay. Why would Paul say I have to keep my body under objection. Okay. Why would he say that? That’s the first Corinthians chapter six or, or, or, or chapter nine? Why would he say under subjection? Because there are things that if I don’t check it, it will check me.
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I call them weeds. Okay. They are, there are emotional weeds that we all have. We have emotional weeds. We, we have things in our minds. We have things in our nature. Okay. That’s a good word right there. We have things in our nature. Okay. There are things in our nature that we have to constantly check. Okay. There are things in our nature that we have to constantly keep in rotation to say, you know what?
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I will not let you lead me. And the reason why Christians behave badly or people behave badly. Because again, they don’t want to subjugate. Okay. They don’t want to subjugate that emotion. Knowing one, they don’t want to identify. Okay. What are wrote that wrote down before, identify, and then they don’t want to keep it under what? Subjection. Okay. Every time I eat every time and I love to eat little juice, lovey.
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Right. But I have to keep it under subjection. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I ain’t gonna lie to y’all. I done confessed. What I ate. That was a good honey button too. I hate that. He that bad boy. Yup. Plus a pocket dash on there. So I don’t confess now I just told y’all something that you needed to not behave badly. You have to confess.
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Yes. Okay. D to make sure you don’t behave badly. You have to confess. Okay? Okay. You have to commit. Okay. Okay. You have to commit to, this is a struggle. You got to commit that, you know, this is something that I’m not going to hit at one time and be done with it. This is a commitment. Like my weight, keeping my weight now is commitment. I have to commit to this fight when my stomach says, eat, you eat.
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And it’s 12 o’clock at night. I said, no, shut up stomach. You can’t get nothing to eat late at night. I’ll step to three o’clock at night. So now I have to commit. All right, I have to do Oh, overhaul. Okay. I have to constantly overhaul. I have to constantly work on things in me that are trying to come out of me. All right. So the confession C is commit. Oh, is overhaul or a right.
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And also it’s understanding. I got to say no. Yeah. He said that, you know, I watched the movie the other day. I’ve got wait, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. My watch. And the guy said, I don’t care. What language you go to know whether this sounds different form. So EAP was snowing. Haitian. No. See my point. Okay. So, so no is no why?
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Because if I don’t say no, right. If I don’t say no to that bad behavior and I have to say no immediately there is no negotiation. There is no. Well, it won’t be bad this time. No, I have to say no. And when I do overeat, my body goes to a shutdown. My, my, my whole emotion change. Why? Because I am not behaving correctly. I’m behaving badly. F is faith.
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Yeah. Yeah. I have to believe that once I confess my sins now hear me loud and clear. We all got PhDs and tell me what other people’s sins are. Y’all Oh yeah. We got PhDs. We had the graduation. We turned the tasks around when get a diploma. Whoa. We know people’s issues, but do you know yours? Yeah. Do you know what you need to work on? Do you know what you need to keep under constant? What?
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Objection. When I say that, when I commit, when I do an old wall, when I understand to say no, when I have the faith in God, then I understand it becomes an even keel. Okay. What do you mean? Even when I work with, when I understand my bad and I bring the good in through Christ, of course again, do cry. Now I’m even the playing field. Why? Because many times we’re not careful. We’ll accept the bad in us. We’ll accept it. Well, you know what? This is who I am. Yes. I’m a crush out.
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Yeah. I’m a cashout. I’m a, no, I didn’t say curse. I said I’ll cash it out. There’s a differently curse in case. All right. So, so you’re just accepting your bad behavior. All right. And then you wondering why people don’t love you? One of my people, you can get a relationship. You wonder why you have all these issues. You have all these issues because
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You are not understanding. There are things in my life. I have to get out, do the other things in my life that I have to constantly struggle. Somethings I can get rid of by the power of Christ and the other things. I just need a constant savior. I need a constant help to deal with it. All right. People will come back with the finishing of the acronym of confess. Dr. B has chosen to devote his life, to saving the institution of marriage in his book, successful marriages for successful men.
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He gives them the knowledge to be relationship ready for my ignorance in my first marriage was definitely Shawn and I learned the hard way. And that’s one of the reasons why I write so many books on relationships because no one taught me. And I learned the hard way. And it is my heart to help men, especially not learn the hard way. So this is successful. Marriage is for successful men, guaranteed. I guarantee you, this will improve your relationship.
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Purchases can be made at the bookstore at dr. TC brentley.com. And they can also be purchased@amazonandbarnesandnoble.com. And now here’s more of dr. V. This is a real Raul with dr. B we’re into the segment of why Christians behave badly or bylaw, why we behave badly. So we will break it down. The acronym of
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Confess C is commit, Oh, is overhaul. And it’s saying, nah, hell no. F his faith. He is making it all even. Okay. S the first S is start, okay, let me just erase this. And y’all know. I’m just trying to finish this out. All right. As I got a new start, okay. Okay. I have to have a new start. I have to have a new mind frame, because if I don’t have a good start, listen, the race.
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Doesn’t start until you start. Does that make sense? Somebody they’re not until you start. Okay. Okay. Number one, again, as a Christian, you know, I guess nobody else, but as a Christian, I understand my race starts with Christ, right? Because I know in me dwelleth. No. Good. What thing? Nothing in me is good. All right. So my start is with Christ, right? My start is understanding. I need help with myself, him.
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And if I could do this on my own, I wouldn’t need a savior. That’s the other S savior. Okay. I need a savior. I need somebody in my life. That’s outside of me to help me go through this process. I can’t do this on my own. Why? Because of this bad behavior. All right. And again, you try to be perfect. Does it work? Does it work? Yeah. Ooh. Well, you know what? I would save all my life.
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No, you haven’t been saved all your life. You do come out in your mother’s womb, speaking in tongues. All right. That’s my favorite thing. Who didn’t do that? God, I know you think you did that, but you didn’t do that. You came out, listen, you came out. Wow. Wow. You didn’t come out. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy. You didn’t come out, come out with Honda, Honda. You didn’t come out with Honda, Honda. You come out crying. You come out doing number one and doing number two, you came out, you came out, jacked up.
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Okay. You came out, jacked up. And again, we behaving badly because we’re not adjusting.
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Okay.
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We mean adjusting doctor B. It is, it is funny how people say they can’t do, but if you can do it in one arena, how come you can’t do in another arena? I said one more time. If, if you can do it in one arena. Okay? Okay. Let me, let me spell this. Right? The yellow. Send me a message. You can’t spell it out to be well, huh? I ain’t got that anointing. Okay. Okay. Okay. That’s close.
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Alright. So if you didn’t want to Rena, you can do another arena. Again. We give here’s a good one. Here’s a good one. You know, we do. We give excuses.
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Yeah.
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We’ll give excuses of why we behaving badly. Well, you made me upset. Okay. Now, clinically, no one makes you angry. I said one more time again, clinically. No one makes you angry. No one makes you angry. No. Makes you angry. You make you angry. Someone does do a stimuli in front of you. Then you decide how to deal with that stimuli. Okay. I’m using clinical now. Okay. So someone does something you don’t like, someone does something that bothers you. All right. So that is a stimuli that’s placed inside of you.
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Now it’s up to you, the process that stimuli. Okay. How do you now this is, this is again, the behaving badly. How you processing it. Okay. Okay. Now one of my issues. Yeah. I won’t tell them myself. Cause I know y’all perfect idea. I can’t stand when people beep at me and the light has not turned green. That bothers me. I’ll tell you. There are times I want to go in my trunk and get the crew ball and they get the, I’m sorry.
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I’m gonna get the crew box and say, wait, one more time. I’m just confessing. Cause I know nothing, nothing wrong with y’all. Y’all perfect. Nothing bothers you. You in Jesus all the day. Some of y’all need little Jesus. Well guess what? I don’t need lead use. I need Jesus or gang. Okay. So again, it’s how am I processing this point?
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How am I processing this mind again? Now the text says, okay, let this, what mind being you also in Christ. Jesus. How do I stop behaving badly? I got to understand my mind is not mine anymore. It’s God. Okay. Now, now, now I told y’all I’m not here to preach. I’m not here to teach I’m counseling and I am counseling. I’m trying to tell you from my perspective, from my perspective, it’s a changing of my mind.
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Now again, when, when my mind is going in a bad direction is easily to behave badly, right? It’s easy to go off on you. It’s easily to say things to hurt you. It’s so easy because I’m behaving badly. Versus if I changed my attitude or if I changed my mind, then now I go to whole nother level. Now I see God in a different aspect, but I have to fight that I have to keep that under subjection.
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Why? Because my mind wants to go somewhere different. Okay? Now this is what I tell people all the time. And I believe it all my heart, soul and mind the most dangerous time for you. And for me the most dangerous time, the most dangerous time for you and me is when things are going well, Bill’s the paid money coming in, the wife, husband laying hands on each other. Really good. You know what I’m saying?
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That to me? What do you mean with things going well when we hate badly, because when things are going well, that’s when, if we’re not careful, we’ll start going into our flesh. People talking about you and people like you on Facebook. People like you on Twitter. People like them, Periscope people I get here and there. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. One of the secrets I believe that God has blessed me to understand early in my Christian life is staying humble. Can I tell you why?
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Because when you’re humble, we have no place to go. But up y’all to get that. Did y’all do that again. See when you lift yourself up and when you exalt yourself, then you’re saying to God, eh, I don’t need your touch. God, I got this really? So you are going to lift yourself up to your degree, into your power, which is limited. How do I know is limited? Because you’re getting older, you’re getting more grayer.
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You losing your hair. You don’t move as fast as you did in high school. So yes, you are getting older. So you are going to lift yourself up to your degree. You’re going to live up yourself up to your point. You’re going to be limited versus if I keep myself humble, I’m not going to behave badly. Why? Cause I don’t understand God is you it’s you. And as you, I don’t put myself anywhere. Anytime I interject Tim Brantley notice, I’m not saying my title’s here.
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As long when I entered Jack, Tim Bradley, all of a sudden is going to straight. It is going left and ain’t going right. It’s going left. Why? Because now I’m washes. I’m behaving badly because who am I trusting? I’m trusting me. And that any time I trust me anytime I trust me. Okay. Again, this is how you’re dealing with the part of you. The reason why you are so bipolar, you keep trusting you, okay?
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Guess what? You are a byproduct. I am my byproduct. Okay. I am a byproduct of my wife of my past. That’s why the scripture says all things are what passed away. But if, but again, when I behave badly is mainly because of the issues, the abuse, the rejection of the things that I wish I had, I didn’t have all the little things, just build up and build up and build up.
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And, and they’re building up wide because you are used to behaving badly. You are used to behaving in that bad place. So it’s you changing your mind frame? Is you saying, alright, God, give me the strip to move. That’s why, again, Romans eight says there has to be a, what? A renewing, Gary, that rule, that word, renewing doesn’t mean one time people that renewing is not just when you come to church.
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I mean those that come to restoration Springs up right now, we’re having drive in church and like more people come to the driving church and then they come and when we’re inside the church. So we thank God for that. But again, it’s a renewing. You can’t renew your mind just when you go to church, you can’t renew your mind when you go back to work, you know? No, you have to, okay. I’m sorry. Y’all don’t have to do that. Cause you got it. God, I have to constantly renew this mind and mind. I have to constantly get between fiance.
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See my children between the church, between coworkers, between my counselees, between writing my books. I got like constantly. I have to constantly alright, Tim. Don’t think Tim, thank God. Matter of fact, minister Henry EDP really said something that was very powerful last week. That, that, that don’t make the word Christian, the end make it the front. That was a very powerful statement.
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Okay. So say on black Christian, white Christians say I’m a Christian, that’s black, I’m a Christian. That’s white. I’m a Christian that I love that because now I’m changing. Okay. I’m changing the, what? I’m changing the narrative. Right? All right. How do I help? Not to behave badly. I’d have to change my narrative. I have to change how I think I have to change how I do things. Okay. Because if I don’t change, it will what it will change me.
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Alright. People, I hope you will enjoy that. Christians behaving badly EAP or mr. Henry. We’ll give you some more information about me about either coming to counseling. I can do virtual as well and see me personally. Yes we are. COVID 19 protected and all that good stuff as well. Alright. People until the next podcast.
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Thank you for tuning into real row with dr. B. This show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact at dr. B is real@gmail.com. If you’d like to hear this show again, you can go to the real role with dr. B Facebook page. If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997.
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We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for of $25 or more. We will send you an autographed copy of one of his books. For more information about dr. B, you can check him out at dr. TC brentley.com or on Twitter at coach T C Brantley and on Instagram at dr. Brentley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God be the glory.
