Transcript of Dealing With Ex Lovers Podcast Episode

Transcript of Dealing With Ex Lovers Podcast Episode:

0 (1s):
Welcome to Real. Raw with Dr B this nationally published author and pastor has made it, his life’s work to helping people strengthened their relationship with God themselves and each other. With 25 years as a licensed counselor, coupled with his own life experiences with the ups and downs of married and single life. It’s like having a counseling session right in your own home. So without any further ado, it’s time for Real Raw With Dr B Oh my goodness.

0 (35s):
And there’s

1 (35s):
This is doctor B on Real Raw with Dr beam. Uh, my website is Dr. T see brantley.com uh, Instagram Dr Brantley PhD. And, uh, I keep it real people to keep it so real that some people can’t deal with me, but I’m gonna keep it. Real why? Because people are dying for lack of knowledge and many times the enemy will keep us in a virtual loop. All right. And by keeping a loop, he will keep you in darkness.

1 (1m 6s):
So our subject matter for the day Ex X’s yeah. Yeah. He Ex. Yeah. Ex girlfriend, boyfriend. Ex-husband Ex wife. Uh, again, you gotta watch out for loops. Okay. Why? Because if you’re not careful, you’re still maybe in love or, uh, you know, something, you still inquisitive about them. And I’m saying to you, how can you get your new if you’re still talking to the Oles?

1 (1m 40s):
Okay. It doesn’t make any sense to me. You’re still following them on Facebook. Why you you’re still going to the house every now and then at nighttime, you know, midnight and, and checking the house out. Uh, that’s a stalker. You got to stop the loop and get you your, your, because it’s going to keep you looping, keeping looping, keep you looking. And it’s old.

1 (2m 10s):
It’s done. Okay. You know The is no reconciliation. Now. Now are there times now, now hear me. Are there times that reconciliation does happen? Yes, but there has to be a change. All right. Has to be a full change. It can’t just be one person changed. So I’m telling you right now, if both parties are not thinking about changing, then you don’t go back. Okay. You don’t go back.

1 (2m 41s):
Don’t go back into the abyss. Don’t go back and do that dog plays. Why? Cause they’re EX four Real people. They’re Ex for reason. And then there are some Ex who are very slick or very sly. What they will do here. Me what? With they will do. Okay. They will keep you close. Okay. They will keep you close. Why they don’t want no one else to have you seriously? Yup. Seriously.

1 (3m 11s):
They wanted to keep you close. They want to keep you so close that no one else has you, but them. Okay. That’s control. That is straight up control. So they want to control you. Okay. Even though you don’t have their last name no more, even on your live, in the same place anymore, they want to control you. So here you are going back to them, going back to them. There’s a passage, the Bible in first, Peter, that talks about, uh, don’t go back to your, what?

1 (3m 43s):
To your vomit. Okay though. Don’t do it. Okay. Please. Don’t call the person and say I got new. I got a new nickname for you to talk to that. Okay? Okay. But the Bible says, don’t go back to the vomit. Duh, don’t go back to that bad place. It doesn’t make any sense for you to go to that place, uh, that doesn’t represent your best.

1 (4m 13s):
Alright. It doesn’t right. Second Peter two and 22. I said it could be the two 22, but it, but it is happened unto them. According to the true proverb, the dog is turned to his own vomit again. Okay. They are Ex people. They are Ex for a reason. Why are you? So In dated in how they are doing okay. Now, now you got small kids. I don’t understand, but they’re all grown. Okay? Okay. They’re not even cereal. Okay.

1 (4m 43s):
They’re not eating Cheerios every morning. Like they used to. Okay. Your, your, your, your, your child’s in Timbuktu. The other child is somewhere else. Okay? Listen. Okay. Now at the same time, I’m not saying you are nasty. Talk to them and your negative. Talk to them. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying ain’t no need to be connected if you don’t need to be connected. Right. Especially all not here we go. Especially, especially if you have a new person in your life. Okay?

1 (5m 14s):
Okay. That don’t make no devil of sense. Okay. So you get a new person, your life, right? You’ve got a new wife, new husband. Why aren’t you talking to the wife or every day. Okay. When it comes to the kids. Got it. Understood. But she just calling you to kick the breeze. Oh, I go curse Jesus’ name, but no, no, we can’t do that. Why? Because that’s a disrespect. Come on.

1 (5m 44s):
Now. That’s a, a disrespect to you. What? To your new wife. Alright. Or your new husband. Okay. But why are you going to continue to have, Oh, how you doing? Oh, I’m I’m. I’m doing fine. And no, no, no, no. And then the new Mader, like what’s going on here? Did you really get divorced now? Again, divorce. And I know what I’m talking about here. Divorce is not just physically, But it’s also what?

1 (6m 20s):
Mental. Okay. And some people have not mentally divorced. You, you still stop now. Listen. Uh, the old proverb is a wide cry over what? Sour milk or spilled milk is spilled. It happened. Okay. The, the, the, the issue occurred. Okay. Why, why are you going to say, why are you going to stay there and suck over it? Okay. You learn from your, what mistakes you, you learn from things that, you know what, uh, I could do things differently.

1 (6m 53s):
Okay. I can do things in a better place. Okay. But you stay stuck there and dealing with your ex and going over thing. And have you noticed every time you guys go over the past, there’s a fight. Every time you go over the past a there’s a discord. You can’t go to sleep. You’re not at peace. You know why? Because there is an Ex for a reason. Okay. It’s time to move on from that mountain. It’s time to move on from that bad place. Because if you don’t move on, the memories will continue.

1 (7m 26s):
Okay. And so by the memories continuing, then your staying okay. Watches now, and you’re ready for this. You’re staying in a living dream. You’re staying in the living dream. Okay. You’re staying in a living dream. You’re staying in a bad pleasure. You’re staying in the place that you should not be in. Okay. Here you are trying to enjoy your new life and try to enjoy things in your life.

1 (7m 56s):
But you’re living in a dream. Okay? Cause I’m trying to fix now. There are some certain people in your life. You’re not gonna be able to fix people. You can’t fix it. He can’t fix it. All right. Okay. It’s in God’s hands now. Okay? Okay. That’s in God’s hands now. All right. God you got this because every time I think about it, every time it goes with my mind, every time getting my spirit just messes me up.

1 (8m 30s):
You have to say, you know what? Nope. I got to move on. Because if you don’t move on, it’s going to destroy you. Our people, we back with our next segment

0 (8m 42s):
In his book, single ladies, get ready for your men. Dr. B teaches women on how not to settle for less than what they want in a future husband. It’s time to go from bridesmaids to bride and very powerful because it teaches women what to look for in a man. And what also to do while you’re waiting for a man, you can be insured. You do not repeat past relationship mistakes. I find your walk with God. And by reading this book, as you identify in, God developed, you will feel empowered.

0 (9m 12s):
You stand your ground on biblical principle while waiting for the man of garden design. So this is a book rather than you were. Didn’t have a good father figure men. Lot of mess on you. This is a book to get purchases of this book and all of dr. B’s books can be made via Dr. T see brantley.com and also Amazon, as well as Barnes and noble.com. And now back to doctor B will come back. People. This is doctor B will wear, uh, keeping it real.

0 (9m 44s):
And Raw, and we’re talking about

1 (9m 46s):
Ex is now listen, when you have a divorce, uh, there’s a mental Burial. Okay. It’s buried. It’s done. Now. I don’t know about you. I don’t know about you, but if I go, you know, pass a, uh, uh, um, a, um, grave site, right? And I see people, I see a man digging up a grave and he don’t look like he on there.

1 (10m 17s):
I’m gonna say something wrong. Okay. Well guess what people you can’t keep trying to dig up. What was buried here? You are someone new and your life is trying to love you. Someone who your life is trying to give you, uh, love. And here you are fighting them. Why? Because you want to go back and dig up. The Ex okay. Now, can I date somebody?

1 (10m 48s):
EX Aimee worried about you. You worry about donating. They ain’t worry about nothing. They ain’t worry about that. They don’t have you on their mind at all. And here you are trying to figure out what, what they went, what you’re worried about. What are they wearing? Why are you going to happen to somebody right now? Why are you so into what they are doing? Okay. Okay. It’s not. What they doing is what you Are, what are doing.

1 (11m 20s):
Okay? How about this? All right. Now this is very deep.

2 (11m 28s):
Are you healing?

1 (11m 32s):
Let me say to somebody, listen, if you did not heal from your ex, if you do not heal from your ex, you do not heal from the issue. You don’t heal from what happened. Then you cannot go onto your next dimension. You cannot go in your next dimension of life. If you have not healed and healing doesn’t mean you keep talking about it. It represents, okay. Something happened in my life. Something didn’t, something went awry, whether you did something wrong or the person did something wrong.

1 (12m 3s):
The bottom line it happened. Okay. Now I have to heal. I have to heal. And if I keep picking at that scab, how am I healing? Right. If I’m picking a scab and my anxiety is just the same, that way I can spell to praise God. Okay. You know? And my anxiety is just the same. Then nothing’s happening. I watch. And I’m going to stay at that, uh, at that line.

1 (12m 35s):
And I’m going to drown. I’m uh, I’m going to, okay. Now watch this. Okay? Okay. Watching your evidence, your evidence. Okay. I’m going to break it up. All right. So when you’re with the person, you had 10 drama. Okay? Okay. So you had the person, you got 10 drama. Okay. I got it. Now the divorce is done. You still at nine? Wait a minute. Guess what? I’m sorry that I made this a better looking nine. Okay.

1 (13m 6s):
Okay. That’s the only person no more that you, okay. So doing your time, your matrimony, you got drama every day. You couldn’t go to sleep. You couldn’t do whatever, whatever. Now that the divorce has taken place and you still at a nine, you only came down by one point you haven’t healed. You still can do The. Ex why? Because if it, if you are coming together, watches are, this is very logical.

1 (13m 37s):
If your coming together was causing so much pain, then it makes sense to me. Does it make sense to you that if I take away myself from that environment, shouldn’t things get better. They should get big time data. But from when people don’t know why they are stuck, they’re stuck with the Ex that did it stuck. But yes, I know you see your child. And I know the child represents a yo, yo, yo, your union.

1 (14m 8s):
The time of the marriage. Oh boy. Oh, they ain’t ready for this. They ain’t ready for this. Uh, sometimes in my counseling, uh, I have people who’ve been divorced and they know why that they know why I did divorce. I mean, that was a dirty rascal. He was a Raw that’s an old fashioned word. He was a rascal. He was at a dirty rascal. But here you are thinking about, well, you know, he did bring me a flower from the highway.

1 (14m 39s):
You forgot how to beat you after death, you forgot how you had five children while he was married to you. The only thing you going to remember is that one day on the side of the road, he found some, uh, she files some flowers and actually one flower, they were weeds. And you remember that? I said you haven’t healed. Okay? You haven’t healed my brother, my sister. You haven’t healed from the torture. Okay? You haven’t Okay.

1 (15m 12s):
You haven’t healed from it. You, you, you, you haven’t gotten to a better place or to a better a point now, again, if you don’t heal, then why would God give you? You’re your brand new future. Okay? Every time you go out on a date, every time you you go out, you always mentioned your wife. Your, you mentioned your ex-husband. You mentioned your ex. Why are you doing that? What? Well, wait a minute. You always somebody brand new. Okay? Why are you? What are you doing? Okay, now?

1 (15m 43s):
And for the five years old, right? Okay. The shoes I wore at five years old, I cannot wear now. Does that make sense? Somebody that makes sense to me. I said one more time. The shoes I wore at five years old, I cannot wear now. Does that make sense? Okay. So if I can’t wear the shoes at five years old, then why am I trying to put them back on? Is that making sense? Somebody? Why are you trying to put the old shoes back on? Okay. Don’t do that again.

1 (16m 15s):
That’s only, okay. Now it’s one thing. Now I understand the psychology of it. Okay. I do. You were so used to paying in your past relationship. You will create pain. One more time. Again. You are so used to pain. Alright. And your past relationship that went, even though you’re not with the person anymore, you will create pain.

1 (16m 45s):
Does that make sense? Somebody that, that again, and that’s what you’re doing. You are creating the pain. You are creating the drama you, you created. And again, they’re gone. Matter of fact, then I moved to Arizona. You’re in Connecticut. Okay. I did it. Then I moved to Asia. Okay. Matter of fact, they don’t change their names. Okay. And here you are because they cause pain. You have create the pain. I said earlier in my Podcast that the brain is nothing but a memory foam.

1 (17m 19s):
Okay. It’s a memory foam. It will, will go over and over again of the memory, uh, that’s happened or the pain has happened, right. It will go over, over again. And you got to move to God to move from that. You can’t stay there. You cannot stay in up at my, help us about it. You can’t stay in that pain. Come on. Okay. Sit with me. I can’t come and say with me. I can’t. Okay, good. I can’t stay aware.

1 (17m 49s):
And that pain, it’s not good for you. It is not good for you. That’s why if the X’s out your life. Okay. Keep them out. The T listen, when I kill an ant. Okay. I don’t kill the aunt. Put on a respirator and said, come on back. Alright. You know? Alright. Alright. Let me take this. Add to the end hospital. Alright. And let me nurse, let me, let me nurse the aunt back to health.

1 (18m 21s):
No, it’s done. Okay. And I’m all right. We’ll be back with our final segment.

3 (18m 31s):
Real Raw With Dr B is brought to you by the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. Hosea four, six says our people die for a lack of knowledge to that end. Dr. B has written 24 nationally published books on relationships, intimacy and theology. You can check out his library at Dr. T see brantley.com backslash bookstore. If you or a loved one are in a difficult season in your life, marriage or personal situation, you can reach out to dr.

3 (19m 9s):
b@areacodetwozerothreesevenfivethreeseventhreesevensevenorviaemailatdrbisrealatgmail.com that’s Dr B I S E R E a l@gmail.com. Now back to your virtual relationship counselor, here’s more of dr. B. God bless your people with a bag. I like to just give a shout out to the EAP, the executive

1 (19m 40s):
Have this great Podcast D one and the only, yes, the one and only Henry being to me, uh, at our church. He’s called minister, Henry B enemy. He’s a man of great talents. Uh, In only speaks English. He speaks Haitian Creole. All right. And he does Spanish too. Uh, so he’s a very talented man and I’m on it, uh, that, um, he wants to be involved with me cause he could be involved anybody. So I wanted to have him here at the church and in the Podcast all right.

1 (20m 11s):
Back to Ex. Alright, so it’s understanding move. Okay. Okay. Move. Okay. You got to move, right? What does In mean? Alright, mature, Gary. I got mature from this issue. Okay. I got a mature because usually when you might marry somebody, maybe your little younger at that time than you are now say much younger.

1 (20m 43s):
And so you’re trying to put in perspective the things that have happened to you. Right? So let me mature from this thing. All right. Let it, let me mature. Let me grow from it. All right. All is very simple. It’s over achieving.

2 (20m 58s):
Okay.

1 (20m 60s):
Okay. Okay. I got to overachieve. Okay. I can’t stay in that bad place. Excuse me. I can’t stay in that place. I have to overachieve. I can’t, I can’t underachieve. I have to what? Over achieve. I have to go bigger. I got to go stronger than where I am. Cause I don’t. Overachieve is going to drown me. Okay. And many people are drowned from their divorce. They stay stuck because you’re saying to yourself, I can’t live with her.

1 (21m 32s):
I can’t live without him. Really. Oh. So if you were still married to The and the dad, you were jumping the coffin. I don’t think so. So you can’t live without them. You are living without them. Come on breathe. Come on, breathe in, breathe out. All right. I just proved to you. You are living without them. Okay. So again, it’s over achieving. Okay. V being victorious victory. Okay. Okay. I got to have victory. Okay. I got them out.

1 (22m 2s):
I got to have my own personal victory in this situation. Okay. I got to believe that, you know, whatever happened to me, you know, in this relationship it happened. Okay. But I got to go forward. Okay. I cannot stay in this place. Okay. Uh, you know, water drowns you in two different ways. Okay? One, uh, you know you in deep water and of course you can’t swim. And then in the course you drown golfer bed.

1 (22m 33s):
And then second way water drowns. You, you stay in one place and you got high tide, low tide. And the high tide drowns. You just that simple. Right? You stay in that Blaber and you stay in that bad place. You won’t go. He is very simple. I’m going to be excellent. Okay. I’m going to become excellent. Okay. I’m not going to be solved for every time someone to meet you. Well, you know, okay. Start thinking about my Ex <inaudible> okay.

1 (23m 6s):
It’s happening. You both know you can’t reconcile. You both agree. There’s no reconciliation going on. All right. Every time you guys to try and reconcile, there’s a fight. Okay. Every time. So, so that says, all right, you know, the, the, the, the tour of duties over The tour of duty is over people.

2 (23m 30s):
Okay? Alright.

1 (23m 33s):
Duh, duh, duh, duh. Okay. The tour of duty is over. Okay. And by understanding the tour duty is over. Then it’s not gonna, that means I’m not gonna stay there because I’m staying there. I’m myself and I hurt myself. Then Julie, I’m gonna hurt you. Okay. Listen, people, it happened. The trauma happened between you and your make your ex mate. The, the, the, the, the, the bitterness. Okay. And also, is it saying, you know what? I can’t stay in that bit of place.

1 (24m 5s):
Okay. I can’t stay in that place of pain. Okay. Why now? Why is that important? I’m so glad you asked me. Cause if you don’t heal, you will transfer

2 (24m 22s):
The pain.

1 (24m 26s):
You will transfer it and your new relationship. So you get in it, sabotaged, it, sabotage it. Why? Because you’re still connected to The. Ex you still connected to The Ex uh, now I ain’t going to judge nobody, but I’ve heard some instances where people got divorced and they stayed in the same house. They both love their house, but you know, ones on the first floor, one of the second floor.

4 (25m 2s):
<inaudible>

1 (25m 4s):
Alright. Uh, you know, you go dating. Oh, okay. Will you live at, Oh, I still live with my EX. Uh, that don’t make no sense people. Okay. Cause you’re still living in a place that represents your past. You still live in a place that doesn’t represent where your going, okay. You live in a place that represents the things of your pain. Okay? How long are you? Okay. Okay. Watch this here. Okay.

1 (25m 34s):
Everybody knows when you cook food, you cook for there. There’s a time that the food comes out because you don’t come out. What, what happens? What’s the B word. If you cook food too long past time, what happened to the food? So I wanted to be what happened. Sad to say it. Yeah, it gets burned.

2 (26m 0s):
Okay.

1 (26m 3s):
Some of you got burnt. Why you stayed too long. You, you, you, you, you stay too long and it burns you and you got first degree, second degree, third degree, mental burn. Am I helping somebody around you? Is there it’s affected you, uh, is made you feel a certain type of way. And you’re trying to figure things out. And I’m trying to tell you, you got to let The. Ex go.

1 (26m 34s):
Alright. Uh, Colossians three, 19 Colossians three 19 says, and I’m almost done. I hope I have them somewhere right here. Colossians three 19. It says, husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. Okay. That also includes your Ex. B not bitter. I’m not going to be bitter happy. Raw right out the child support right out of the alimony and keep it moving. Keep it. With why. Cause I can’t become better. Okay. And this is very good people.

1 (27m 9s):
When something is bitter, what do you need to make it better? And usually you had to sugar or, well, that’s good. That, that, that, that as good teaching idea, you add the sugar. You not them. You, you owe them. You have to say, you know what? I got to put something on this to make it better. Cause I don’t make it better. It will become, it will remain what bid type.

1 (27m 40s):
And many of you are bitter, bitter people. You still beaten up. The Ex you still B listen. I don’t do that. I don’t do that. I talk about what I did wrong. I don’t mention my EX. I mentioned what I did wrong. Me. Why? Cause I’m getting better. Right? Doesn’t make any sense. Hey, you are stating a bad play with the Ex in your mind because you’re not adding any sugar. You’re not adding, adding, adding.

1 (28m 12s):
You’re not adding. If anything, you’re subtracting, you keep subtracting and help with somebody right now. You keep subtracting you to keep subtracting. You keep to the track, you keep subtracting and you expect things to get better. No things can not get better. If you keep subtracting, you gotta, you gotta say, you know what? I’m at sugar to this day. You know, because I went to this and let’s be honest. If you look at it, Dr clearly it made you a better person.

1 (28m 42s):
I’m not getting a better person. You go from there. All right. People hope you have enjoyed us. And we talked about Ex and today, uh, Ex husband, Ex wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. I tell you, people would come at you. Real coming to us. Real some radio stations can’t deal with us, but listen, we will want you to, uh, you know, be a part of this and be a blessing to this, uh, EAP, executive producer. He knew give instructions how to support, uh, this ministry. Podcast hope you are blessed.

1 (29m 13s):
Send your questions again. This is like a virtual, um, counseling session right here with you. All right. And until next time, peace.

3 (29m 28s):
Thank you for tuning into Real Raw with Dr B this show is a product of the total relationship trainer, a ministry of restoration Springs into denominational church. If you have any questions, comments, or topics to be discussed contact@drbisrealatgmail.com. If you’d like to hear this show again, you can go to the Real Raw With Dr B Facebook page. If you are being led to give and want to partner with us, donations are accepted via cash app at dollar sign RSIC 1997.

3 (30m 4s):
We also accept donations via PayPal at new rest, one twenty@yahoo.com for donations of $25 or more, we will send you an autograph copy of one of his books. For more information about dr. B. You can check him out at Dr. T see brantley.com or on Twitter at coach T C Brantley and on Instagram at Dr Brantley PhD until next time be encouraged and to God be the glory.